Now I can't figure every scenario on how this may play out - but the answer is the same. No anger. And with an unexpected peace from within.
"W, I don't want to fight with you - but I will do everything in my power to fight FOR you. I know there are some ongoing issues between us - and I believe we can resolve them. I learned somethings about your trip that put my world in a tailspin. Things I don't want to believe. And whether you decide to stay or go, I think the least we owe each other is honesty". Then STFU and listen.
And if you are really sincere about wanting to work it out - it doesn't matter what the truth is, does it?
Me - 43 and She -36. No kids. Married 7 yrs - Together 14 yrs
No it does not matter what the truth is you re right. But what matters is to be able to at least be honest with each other.
Phil, I will try your method and STFU as you put it....you know this is going to be hard. I think W knows I am onto her because she is not home yet.....she called in a very good mood at 20:30 when she left the MIL's apt. (another dishonest person).
She denied everything.......I can tell however that she spent the last 7 days in Paris with OM. I remained calm throughout and told her that I will fight for her. She was crying most of the time, he even said that she does not think she will find someone who loves her as much as i do....kind of surreal actually.....my worst nightmare has been confirmed.....where do i go from here. Packing my bags for sure.
I'm sorry to hear what's going on but your W is in a full blown A with OM probably has been for some time. Packing your bags won't change that for now.
You need to get back to DB basics, Work on you, GAL, act as if, move on with you life as if your M is done.
The A with OM will play itself out, you have no control over that. You just have to get on with you. I'm so sorry I really feel for you.
Me:50 W: 49 T:20yrs M: 14 yrs D:11 2005 PA 2006: EA (2003 : 2007) 2007: April ILYBNILWY Aug PA, Sept Separate 2008: Feb Piecing 2009 Limbo 2011: Separated (same house) 2013: Divorcing
Lanzo. You are right, it's all about me and D7 now,,,,my M is over. I wonder how she can sleep? I figure with the jet lag and time difference she should be up soon.
She says she slept rather well.....I did not. She asked me if I slept well and seemed genuinely concerned. She is denying the whole thing even the fact that she was in Paris. I asked her why she sent me I miss you texts and her response was I regretted it after I sent them. "It is obvious you are in my thoughts". I'll take the recommended 48 hrs. of reflection as suggested by Phil. I don't know if that will change anything. I know what i need to do.
Reread the LRT and the after LRT this morning. This is very difficult for me to say but if my W would say I made a mistake and want to try to work this out, I would accept. I guess that means i still love her or I'm an idiot. All the stuff I wrote earlier like if there is OM, then it is over.....well this morning anyway, I don't feel that way. So, I feel paralyzed today and will need to get out of the house and see some people and smell some fresh air.
get out of the house and see some people and smell some fresh air.
Exactly. Do this. Get your mind on something else for a little bit. You've been consumed with this for a while now and you need to find a way to relieve some of the stress. Give yourself some time to reflect on all that has happened. Try to take some of the emotion out of it too.
Peace, B
Me: 29 W: 28 T: 10 M: 7 No kids 2 Dogs and 1 Cat With Parents: 09/16/07 Apartment: 10/13/07 Back Home: ~2/16/2008
