Piecing is hard...should I even do it?

[ntl]

ntl, I left a message for you on my thread about my own experience with this issue. I agree with RealJourney, wholeheartedly, your husband is stepping up to the plate big-time, and from what you have written about him, he does seem like a man worthy of putting a bit of work into! (he sounds like my own H)

I did a lot of research into the porn issue. It is huge. This is one of the most important un-talked-about issues in the country today (and I used to think it was US foreign policy that took top prize). Porn is emasculating a whole generation of young men. For some reading, google for "The Impotence Pandemic" by Judith Reisman. She has testified before Congress on the porn issue -- little good will it do though, porn is Big Business, and it is mainstream big business investors who hold the stake.

Also see the website, ObscenityCrimes.org Dr. Mary Anne Layden (U of P professor) has an article there: "If Pornography Made Us Healthy, We Would Be Healthy By Now". ntl, what is happening to your husband is not uncommon. It is as if our men have been preyed upon, have been made ill for profit. Your marriage is worth working on. Also, you might want to look into the idea of couples therapy with a credentialled, experienced sex therapist -- likely you can get a contact through SAA.

hijack to cat03 -- thank you for your posts on this thread, I found them personally very helpful.

Thank you, again, for your feedback. I am going to check these sites out. I've realized that I am definitely a researcher! I feel like I need to research these things to death...I just have such a strong need to understand what the heck is going on with this stuff and how powerful the draw is.

And you make a great point about the sex therapist. We've got a great one. She's a psychologist who studied at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. She's been working with H on helping him figure out what healthy sex/sexuality looks like. She's been really pushing the idea that we have to define that for ourselves, but that one of the keys is that there should be no shame in it.

When I think back to our relationship before we got married, I now remember how preoccupied my H was with sex. We had sex all the time. Sometimes several times a DAY. It freaked me out sometimes because I felt like that was such large part of what we had going that we never had time to develop anything else. And then...we got married and it was like someone turned off the tap. And then he drove all that need in to work.

*sigh*

Complex and confusing.


ntl