Separated and unsure how to proceed

[grid, lost]

And yes, right now, he is "the enemy". Friends certainly don't treat people the way he has treated me!

[/quote]

Kim
I am going to jump in here on this lunch deal although by now you may have had lunch. I get from your posts seeing H really really really upsets you?>>????? In past seeing my H and then he left to go back to OW threw me into deep depression. After while it hit me I have to take care of myself. I told H this, "I had to take care of myself and stop letting him hurt me. Couldn't take anyome and my well being would have to come first. For quite some time (months) I didn't see him, near him ,etc. Might talk on phone but no him. Maybe this is what you need to do.
If talking D is not what you want then don't go.
If seeing him hurts that much, don't go. Let him realize one reaching out for lunch may not cut it. He'll call again.
Seems to me you want it both ways. You ok, him talking and around you. Lets just work on R and H has made it clear NO. So look after yourself, forget him for a bit.
just my thoughts.
grid, lost