Here's the day I wasn't looking forward to. Today's my birthday. Happy Birthday to me! I'm 35. Old enough to run for president now. Think it's too late to join this years elections?
Life goes on, and yes...I'm at work. My dad called me this morning. And, my mom and sister both send me text messages. Haven't heard from h. Kinda doubtful that I will.
Man, I'm not even getting "birthday sex" this year.
Counseling appt in 1hr with new counselor. Praying it goes well, and that I like him.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
ladybug, if it makes you feel better, my W dropped the D bomb on me on my bday last year. Hope your appt goes well!
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
Well, I'm back from my appt. It went OK I guess. I think what I really want is a c who's going to be a hard-ass. You know, someone who will set me straight. The one I saw today kinda took my side more than I wanted him to.
He did say a couple insightful things though and he recommended 2 books... 5love languages, and the 7 principles to making marriage work (something like that).
Anyone heard of these? I have the 5 love languages, but haven't read it, and know nothing about the 7 principles book.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Both are excellent books and I think the 5 love languages and it's sister book 5 languages of apology should be required reading for every married couple.
The 7 principles is another excellent book. I never read it completely. Sadly my wife and I got about 1/3 of the way through it and both felt like it wasn't helping. We should have stuck to it because the first 1/3 was about your relationship together really has friends and how well we knew each other. We did well in that section and I know I got a false sense of security out of it. Less than 6 months later she bombed me.
If we really want to love, we must learn how to forgive. - Mother Theresa
5:30 so far and not a singe call from h. I wonder if he even remembers it's my birthday. This sucks...
Oh, and Dave, sorry about the bomb being dropped on your birthday. That's terrible! Can't they wait 1 day in order to not ruin your birthday? Not even closely related, but I had a bf that waited until midnight to break up with me so he wouldn't ruin my college graduation! So thoughtful.
Last edited by ms ladybug; 01/17/0801:40 AM.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
You sound very good. Keep doing what you are doing - seeing your counselor, working and taking care of the kidlets. 35 is VERY young, you have a nice life ahead of you.
My situation is status quo. I hate to be a complainer, but it really is going to take time to sort my mess out. Divorce is moving forward, W and I are civil to each other which is a +, I'm still crashing with a friend and work sucks. A lot of my issues are financial. My W and I own a very expensive home with a big mortgage. Until the house is sold, I am stuck.
5:30 so far and not a singe call from h. I wonder if he even remembers it's my birthday. This sucks...
Oh, and Dave, sorry about the bomb being dropped on your birthday. That's terrible! Can't they wait 1 day in order to not ruin your birthday? Not even closely related, but I had a bf that waited until midnight to break up with me so he wouldn't ruin my college graduation! So thoughtful.
My STBXW has impeccable timing. The previous bomb was on father's day. And the latest one was right before xmas. I think the one for my bday she would've waited if I didn't sense something was wrong and pushed for an answer. I think anyone would be wondering what is going on after being ignored for an entire week.
As far as for the 7 principles of love. 1. the first section talked about most MC are whack and etc etc. Take that with a grain of salt. I was reading that while my W was asking to go see MC. Well, I should've done that. Instead, I said, "John Gottman" said most MC are quack and it may make it worse so I won't go. Probably would've saved the M if we did.... I wish I wasn't reading that book at that time and instead DR. 2. Of course after I did that she refuses to go through the book with me. I think it might be a good book for piecing, but maybe not so much for trying to get them to that point. The book pretty much requires both of you committed to work on.
M: 31 W: 31 M: 7 T: 8 S:4 D:2 Bomb dropped: too many to count or remember, 12/17/07 last one S on 9/2/07 W sent off D papers 12/31/07. Me trying to live life and hope she returns one day.
Well, I didn't hear from h all day yesterday. That night, my kids called him to say goodnight. So, after they talked to him, I got on the phone, and he immediately said he had to go. I said, "do you have anything to say to me?" He said, "what? I have to go book someone right now?" I said, "you have nothing to say to me?" I know I shouldn't have probed it out of him. He said, "happy birthday. Maybe we can have dinner with the kids on Friday." Oh, dinner with the kids, that should be really special. Ever take a 18mo old to a restaurant? It's not too relaxing - to put it mildly.
Then he calls back at 3am. 3AM!! He was driving home from work and called to ask if I wanted "birthday sex". I told him no. I was sleeping. So he said "ok", and he didn't come over. Gee, that was mighty kind of him to offer to come have sex with me when he finally REALIZED that it was my birthday!
Last edited by ms ladybug; 01/17/0810:29 PM.
Me 36 Husband 35 D5 S2 separated: 10/29/07-present Served divorce papers 1/22/09 "When the world gives out beneath your feet, it is time to learn how to fly."
Hope your appt goes well!