Mark....Just read your post and felt that I needed to reply. I pretty much agree with the things you said. Yes,there is a lot of emphasis placed on fidelity but I think that is a good thing. When a couple resites their marriage vows before God they promise each other and God that they will "forsake ALL others until death we do part". I took those vows very seriously and for nearly 32 years my H did too. He had an A (won't go into all the details but you can check back where I posted on INFILDELITY/JEALOUSLY and PIECING). I discovered the A when it had been going on for 4 months. Confronted him and he immediately called the OW and told her that he had never stopped loving me and that he was committed to fixing our R and that their A was over. Why did I forgive him? I loved him too much not to. We had too many wonderful,happy and loving years behind us to just throw them away because he screwed up. Yes,infidelity is a horrible thing to do to someone and there are a lot of people who just can't get over it or forgive. I honestly feel that if the love is still there,if you are committed to working out your problems and if the straying partner is sincerely sorry for the pain and hurt (ahd he/she is doing everything they can to show they are sorry and show that they can be trusted) the marriage can survive and even become stronger. I believe that infidelity is a sin but it is a forgivable sin.(after all God forgives us all for our sins so how could we not do the same) You have to be strong to forgive and then be even stronger while learning to get over it and put it behind you. It does seem like that in this day and age it is too easy to just give up and get divorced when something goes wrong in your marriage. Too many people just feel that they can't handle infidelity and some won't even try to make things work. If a problem arises in the marriage some people will have an A instead of communicating with the partner and trying to work the problem out. That is the "easy way" out of trying to escape your problems (that is what my H did). Communication is a MUST in a successful marriage. We had stopped communicating but now I am happy to say that we are back on track. We talk a lot more and we both made changes in the way we do things and in the way we treat one another. It takes 2 people to make a marriage and it takes 2 people to keep it going. I am sorry to hear that your W left and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and will be hoping that things work out the way you want them to. pfroglady
