H moved out 12/1 and filed for D last week. I am still in our apt and I have just realized in the last two weeks how much of a raod block it is in healing and grieving. I have been holding on for a cheaper apartment complex to have an opening but they don't have a hi turnover and it is a small complex. Everything else that works for me and my 16 yr son (H not father) is $100 over what I can really afford. I staretd to pack when I thought I would be movig in Dec and can't justify unpacking to decorate they way I want to just to re-pack again next month or in Mar.
Just trying to avoid to moves w/in a yr but also try to keep by sanity intact - which is proving to be really hard living in the "marital" home. No chance of reconciliation either so I need out!
So if I stay any advice on how to make it different for the next month or two w/out a comeplete re-haul? Driving home and walking up those steps proves difficult to but those are things I can't change?
Me 34 H 32 (2nd M) M 2.5yrs Together 4yrs My S (15yrs old)
I just wanted to say I know what you mean about the maritial home. I still live in our maritial home after over a year of seperation. it is VERY hard sometimes to just be here with all of the memories. Like I told him he has nothing missing when he is gone because he is in a new environment but the kids and I are still here in the house and their is an obvious void that his presence is no longer here. I have thought of moving selling the house but I just cannot justify doing it because we have 4 kids and for me to rent anything it would be just as much as the mortgage here so it doesn't really make sense to give up pur 10 years of equity here. Afterall my kids have grown up here. In fact I grew up here...LOL we bought this house when I was only 19 years old so my whole entire adult life has been in this house, we bought our kids home from the hospital to this house, we concieved our children here, we have been through alot here... making it harder for me to be here. in the meantime I have done some small projects since I have been alone here.. I bought new bedding for my room.. more pink and flowers... I also re-did the floor in the kids bathroom and redecorated it. I even redecorated the kids room on new years weekend. so those few little things of change have made it easier to cope. but it is still hard when I drive around the corner and his truck is missing from the driveway...when I go to the closet and his clothes are gone etc...
anyways I just wanted to say you are not alone.. from what I have been told if I want to reconcile I should not leave the maritial home. but in all honesty if this was a leased property I would have probably just left for my sanity...
I am a Real Estate Agent by profession and so many many nights I have thought about just going and and planting a for lease sign and a for sale sign in the front yard and jumping on board with whatever took the bait and getting the heck out of here but I have stayed here for the sake of my kids.
the other night I was outside and I realized that the 5 houses around me including mine are occupied by divorced or single people... should I consider that a curse or should I reach out to these people who have been through it for strength to cope. I know my enighbor (male) his wife left his abruptly without notice like my H so I know he probably has some good advice for me.. but no one knows that he doesn't live here except for a handful of people not even my family after this whole year!!! sigh
Last edited by kaycie; 01/16/0811:29 PM.
me:29, H 33 Bomb- 11/06/2006 I came home from work to find that he had moved out into an apartment. next day he says he wants to work on our marriage but will not return until he feels right. kids-4 m-10 years T- 13 years another Bomb-Sept '07 OW confirmed...
