Sorry it took me a couple of days to respond. I think I just royally screwed up!!! I called and asked him to meet me after work to give him a check he was waiting for. He asked if he could just pick it up on Saturday at the house instead b/c he was coming by to get somethings. Then I told him I had to tell him some things. I proceeded to tell him that the other day when we were talking (he had stopped by on Monday) he mentioned that it sounded like I was having fun right now w/ all the things I am doing socially. I wanted him to know that I was having fun with my friends and things at work, but....I wanted him to know that I was not okay w/ what's been going on right now. It is hard for me right now and didn't want him to think that everything is easy breezy right now. He then proceeded to tell me that he knows things are not easy right now, but he was at least happy to know that I was having a good time w/ friends. He said that nothing has changed for him in the last 2 weeks and he still at the same place, and that he wants to be on his own and that he doesn't know what else to say. I went on to say that I just don't want any regrets and I know that he can't work on the marriage right now b/c he wants to work on himself, but at some point I know that I will have regrets if we don't get that chance to find out where things went wrong. I didn't say anything. Then he said that he was anxious to hear that I am not really doing well. I said I am doing well with all other parts of my life, but I not in this area. He told me he didn't know what to say and that I make him anxious. I mentioned that maybe we need to talk about how often we are talking right now and seeing each other, b/c maybe it's too soon to see each other. He mentioned that he had a good time the other night when we went to dinner (of course b/c I didn't bring anything up).
The problem is that I am really impatient and once I see him, I waiting all day and hoping that he will call me. It is killing me and it seems that ever since he moved out, he is slowing the calls and contact down very slowly. It's as if, when he first left he wanted to call me and make me feel good, b/c he felt bad for leaving and now that he has a little bit of freedom and sees that I am okay, he doesn't seem to be calling as much.
We ended the conversation with him saying that we can do dinner next week. We will also see each other Sat. morning b/c he has to use our computer for work at the house. I felt so deflated after the call. I felt like his tone was not friendly to me and that he was irritated by the whole thing. Do you think that maybe I should suggest us not talking for awhile? It seems that everytime I get off the phone with him, I am sad in one way or another. I feel like I said the wrong thing or I am second guessing myself the whole time. I am a very impatient person and the whole time I am thinking about him, I am thinking that maybe he just wants to be alone and he just doesn't have the guts to tell me, but.....who knows??? Help! By the way, he is 37. Brita
