I woke up in the best mood today. I find the whole remote control car thing so funny.... do I really want to be with someone that is really excited about remote control cars?!? I miss HIM so much, but that puts it into better perspective for me! Maybe we do really want totally different things in life?
I dont know what to do about the contact thing. It did seem like me contacting him produced a good result. And it might be building a little bridge to show him that unlike previous behaviour I am actually normal and happy! (I feel like the last year I was slightly hysterical most of the time!! Ha Ha - its funny now, but at the time it was crazy how wildly my emotions were swinging).
We texted a little bit last night (me pretending to be enthusiastic and interested in the remote control car! Ha!). He asked how I was, how my job was, and what had I done on the weekend (YAY - he noticed I wasnt home on the weekend!!). So he is definitely curious. I did not answer any of his questions - just concentrated on the car. Do you think that was the right thing to do?
My biggest fear is that it would be easy for me to initiate contact, and probably even convince him to come home and have another go at the marriage. But that is what I always do - fix everything up for him, so that he doesnt have to be responsible. To do a real 180 I have to let go of the control and let him decide if he wants to be married to me, and if he does, that he would do something about it from his own motivation.
Will wait to see what happens now.....
From today I will wait another 30 days before I initiate any more contact I think.
