Let's see . . where did I leave off in my memoirs of marriage. I hadn't really gotten very far.
Me head is full of muck! Time to offload some of it to ready for the next fresh load.
To my thread . .I have a bit of a thorn in my side, which is by no means a new development.
The situation that I married into w/ my W was one where she was married briefly b4 in 'shotgun' fashion and there lovely daughter was born some 3-4 months after. It surely is always the best for the baby/child if upon getting a D that both spouses are able to learn to cooperate in co-parenting during the 18 or so years that lie ahead b4 a brand new life will no longer be considered a 'minor'. And so on the one hand I could have been happier and admired the approach that was taken by her and her ex in how their D was raised. She has turned out to be a lovely young adult. Not to say she hasn't created some pretty nasty stirring in mine and W's marriage, especially recently, but is almost a certainty when parties move to their respective sides as a D appears imminent. There was sure no way in heck she was going to be allying with me. Her and my W are pretty much co-dependent and love to love each other as well as hate each other fm time -time. Who am I to take a stab at understanding mother/daughter relations . .ha ha.
But back to the thorn in my side. With the very amicable and admiring kind of closenes that has been pretty much a hallmark in the relationship between my W and her ex . .there is a stink that emanates from that relationship. When I say that I am neither ravenously jealous(although I don't claim to be immune fm jealousy completely), nor do I at this time believe that there have been attempts to reignite a flame between them romantically or physically. The characterization that my wife would periodically offer up about her relationship with him was that she knew almost instantly that their's was a R which was not sustainable or something to that effect. And that she had for as long as could remember viewed him with the kind of love reserved for a brother (and she didn't hail fm Arkansas .sorry to offend any natives). My wife has made many strides in her life to overcome the lousy deal (understatement)she was given early on and I commend her for it . .usually silently though. One of the lingering issues, of which there is no shortage, is her ignorance or lack of adherance to boundaries or tactfulness. I don't necesarily believe that those are instinctive things but more ones you have to learn and her early household was not a model one. So she fails to see, understand or obviously respect boundaries pertaining to her and her ex. This is so F . .ing messed up.
