Wow, that's a great quote! I had to read it several times to take it all in.
Quote:
How can one, anyway, truly cut yourself off from someone who is the parent of your children, and who you vowed to love?
This is one of the things that gives me the strength to keep doing what I am doing, that no matter what happens in my M. My H and I will be connected for the rest of our lives by our D and we will always have a R with each other. It is up to both of us to determine what that R will look like, and I can determine 50% of that. I suppose it is something that gives me hope too. If we are forever connected, there is always the opportunity to try again at some point in the future.
I have come to conclude that whatever is going on w/ my H (and I don't know what is really going on), I will not kill myself by continuing to "swim upstream", speculating, obsessing, questioning. If OW is still in the picture or not, he has to do what he has to do to work out his issues. I'll bide my time and do my thing and let him see that I can survive on my own.
I think maybe I've reached that point of forgiveness, of freeing myself from the pain. I'm tired of feeling hurt and betrayed. I'm tired of carrying that burden around and letting it take centre stage in my life. I am turning 43 tomorrow and it's time for a new chapter in my life.
I'm encouraged by you, Ediemarie - you seem to have such a good outlook, and despite your H's lukewarm attitude regarding your M, it looks to me like you are living your life day by day, and really, that's the only way we can live.
FA
What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
FA:43, H:42 D:7 M:10 yrs, T:24 yrs EA:?, PA:1/06 S:3/07 EA/PA ongoing Aborted attempt to move home 07/08
