Starting to get it.... my 3rd thread

[SameButDifferent]

Ann,

First, thank you again for the feedback in my thread. It's helpful to know someone's keeping an eye on you!

FWIW, W and I have talked about tattoos as well, but in general we pretty much agree on the name thing. The only exception I can even consider making is the nephew I lost a couple of years ago to a genetic disease. He loved balloons, and I've occasionally considered that a small balloon with his name in it might be appropriate. Then I realize that we (the whole family) have so many other ways to remember him that we're more likely to share...

Considering all the changes from the weekend, the dreams seem like a pretty minor speed bump. As you said, you can't control his dreams or how he reacts to them, nor should you be held responsible for them. Has he heard that message at a time when he WASN'T already too bent from the content of the dreams to hear your feelings?

I guess the same question arises about the tattoos. If you've never considered names, then not considering HIS name doesn't 'say a lot' - it just reflects consistency. If, however, he hasn't heard this message often, OR hasn't heard it except when he brings up the idea, then your response is likely colored by his emotion.

Is there an opportunity to discuss either outside of when he gets on the topic himself?

You're a smart one Ann, so you've probably already thought of this, but I wanted to put it out there just in case!