In your place I would stop focusing on the M and concentrate on strategies for securing a shared custody agreement and fair property settlement.
It looks like your W has been laying the groundwork to get a sole custody arrangement with limited visitation for you--and the corresponding financial settlement (abuse accusation). While I admire your dedication to repairing your marriage, preparing for the worst could save you from even worse heartache--OM raising your kids.
She is playing dirty pool, but divorce is a dirty business.
