TAL - I am far from perfect and my sitch was not always handled in the best DB terms. I just tried to balance DB and my heart and my gut. I did not give up, that is for sure even when he just kept telling me he was done. I just really believed in my heart that it was not him talking - if I could wait it out until he saw the real OW then I would have a chance. And that's really how it played out, she showed her true colors and he realized what he was throwing away...
Retrouvaille helped him immensly - though we are not writing each night like we should...but it helped more that MC that's for sure....
Thanks for your kind words!!
HB
Me41 H44 * M16 yrs * D13 S10 8/06 H wants a D * 1/07 OW Truth 2/07 Searated * 7/07 H moved home First Thread Surviving Separation Now Piecing
things are never perfect, but I commend you to sticking it out.. so many people give up too easily, and frankly if my H actually "cheated" I don't know if I could do it. You are a strong person and he is lucky to have such a wonderful person in his life.
Have a great day!
tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
Its hard for me to post these days because things are so up and down in our house.
H volunteered that he saw OW at grocery store today. I said I figured he did, its 'their' day. He didn't talk to her, he says. Ok, fine. Are you mad, he asks. Not mad, disappointed, but I can't change anything and that's what I told him.
Another thing he said was that he wished I had feelings for someone else. Why, I ask. Because it'll make things easier. Easier for what? If I leave, then you'll have someone. I told him not to worry about me, other than missing the kids, I would be fine.
These things hurt when he says them/does them, but I am trying to 'big picture' it here. I hope he is not using me (sex), I don't think he is, I think he is attempting some sort of reconnect, but is afraid to do anything else. Maybe its some sort of weird 'reclaiming' thing, since he thinks I am cheating. Now, I miss a lot more of him than I did before we were having sex. Don't believe everything he says, right??
I just wish something would be decided, something would be done. But then again, I am not in a hurry to do anything, just don't want to lose him just yet. I am not making sense.
We talk on and off during the day, about OW, about money, about the girls, about us. Some joking, some serious. I could ramble on forever. I don't know if I should bring up Florida again.
I say you do something for you. All this marriage work, the kids, the OW, the STUFF. It's so draining sometimes!
Jewelry-making class at a local bead shop? An hour at Barnes & Noble in the cafe section reading fashion/women's magazines? A long run? A trip to see a friend?
Sure your H may leave or do something weird. But you can't control his actions.
I don't know. I feel like we all get so wrapped in to all this WORK we're doing that even when we're GALing, we're really just working.
Blabbering but it makes sense to me...
ntl
Me: 30 H: 32 Dating 10/96 Married 8/01 H PA's: Summer 97, 12/06, 5/07-10/23/07 My Saga
I say you do something for you. All this marriage work, the kids, the OW, the STUFF. It's so draining sometimes!
Jewelry-making class at a local bead shop? An hour at Barnes & Noble in the cafe section reading fashion/women's magazines? A long run? A trip to see a friend?
Sure your H may leave or do something weird. But you can't control his actions.
I don't know. I feel like we all get so wrapped in to all this WORK we're doing that even when we're GALing, we're really just working.
Blabbering but it makes sense to me...
ntl
Go to Vegas........
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
There are no police at the door. They ask if you are going with an open mind and a willing heart. Or is that an open heart and a willing mind? Seems the same either way. I'd say that at his point he has put OW aside sufficiently to spend some time thinking through what he wants.
