DO NOT MOVE OUT. Seek legal counsel before changing your living arrangements. If you move out you implicitly give up rights, regardless whether she "asked" you to move out. Seek counsel.
STOP ALL R TALK. you read it, you understand it, but you still talk about the R. Stop it. Stop. Stop. Stop. Seriously. Stop. Stop giving her the books. Stop. Stop talking to her about DB. NOW. STOP.
BELIEVE NONE OF WHAT YOU HEAR and ONLY HALF OF WHAT YOU SEE I-love-you-but-i-am-not-in-love-with-you is par for the course. Forget it. Don't stress yourself about it.
BE THE MAN Imagine you are not married. What would you do to attract a mate like your wife? Would you cry? would you break down? give up your friends? Mope? Or.... would you have fun? be joyful? enjoy your kids? enjoy your life (such as it is)? Be the MAN she wants.
My armchair analysis: She feels stuck in her life. She feels like everything is the same, nothing is stimulating her, nothing driving forward.
What if you showed her how an adult can learn new things, pick up new hobbies? indepedently. Don't invite her to the theater. Just go yourself.
Second: is there anything she has complained about, before? Do you smoke and she hates it? do you drink and she hates it? do you watch football all saturday and she wants to go to a broadway show? Change yourself.
What's happening to you is a tragedy, and I feel for you. But being down about it will not help you. unfair, yes. But you need to step up. deal with it.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
