Ongoing affair, D papers filed, advice wanted

[SirPrizeMe]

On the custody thing, I have a series of emails asking for more time with the kids, more access, and so on. I sent a letter to her via attorney (Special price this week: only $400 to send a letter!) requesting more, regular time with the kids. No response on that yet. Next week I will file a motion with the court to get more time with them. I hate the way this is going.

Why am I out of the house? She continues to speak to OM. One day in June 2007, she told me she had seen OM for a dinner date, the week prior. I asked her for 3 months, 3 months of no contact. She agreed. at that time I silently promised that this would be the last time. If she broke her promise again, I wouldn't accept that behavior. I know, I know. In retrospect, this was too much pursuit. Too much pressure. I was not strong enough to stand.

Anyway, in late August she commented, without my inquiring, that she still calls him, and that he'll always be her friend. This was an R talk, initiated by me, (I know! I know!), but I did not ask about OM. Actually I believe now, based on ATM records, that she had seen him out of state the day before. I did not know or suspect that, then. I only knew she was ignoring me. The passive aggressive behavior just got to me. Given her admission that she still talked to OM, and it was within my 3 month window, I upheld my promise to myself. The next day I told her that we needed to put the house on the market, and I told her I was leaving.

The day afterwards, she asked me to return to marriage counseling. The counselor refused to see us unless there was ZERO contact with the other man. I am sure this felt like "pressure" again to her. She agreed, but only managed one session. She never stopped communicating with OM. She then filed papers, and she advised me I was not welcome in the house any longer alleging "a history of abuse". Pure fiction. I think all along this time, she was preparing for divorce. the papers I received later showed that she was prepping financial statements at this time, while assuring me she was getting ready for counseling.

That is how I came to be out of my house. In retrospect, I would never have left, had I known then, what I know now. I gave up rights by walking out on her without taking the kids with me. D4mn!