The belly dancing starts in early Feb, I hope it will be fun... I hope its light-hearted, not too serious with scarves and stuff! I will let you know how it goes!
Just saw H. H is a builder and is good friends with the next door neighbours... he is doing some work on an extension for them. He is working there on and off, and he also visits them on the weekend. Its absolute torture to see his ute parked at the neighbours and know he is so close but doesnt come to see me.... The only positive about him being in contact with the neighbours is that have confided that he is moody and grumpy (so unlike him he used to be the definition of laid back & easy going).
I had a funny feeling that there might be some sort of contact today (probably because I'm having a bad hair and face day - how typical!).... and then his ute is at the next door neighbours. I walked down the driveway to pull in my rubbish bin, and he drove out. I waved and smiled and he waved back but I didnt actually make eye contact with him.... So stupid, its such brief contact (it hardly even counts) but leaves my heart thumping. I wish I hadn't seen him. I still love him but then I remember that the lovely person I married has been swallowed by this alien that I dont know and who is so selfish. I HATE THIS!!!!
My problem is that I'm impatient and like to feel like I have control. I'm trying to tell myself "I dont like it, but I accept that we are separated, our relationship is in the poo, and that my lovely husband does not exist at this moment".
