After the 'message' discussion we sat for a little while and talked about her friend Jon and how things were going for him. All good stuff, he's happy in his relationship, etc. But he's not going to drop what he's doing and go teach with her I guess.
We talked about our kids and how they were growing up and would be leaving us eventually. She talked about how lonely it's getting and that Sundays are the quietest because she doesn't work then and they are busy with there own lives. She is thinking about studying to get a national accreditation for massage so she can give credit when she teaches. She thinks that since she's alone on Sundays that would be a good time to study.
I validated that part of her plan, telling her she would be able to do it easily. I was going to say 'We could spend time together on Sundays' but I figured it was a bad idea.
We actually made eye contact often, which was an effort because I was sitting next to her so she had to turn her head.
I mentioned that I 'got fired' from that project and she was concerned, asked me if I was 'ok with that'. I told her that I was, because my heart wasn't in it anyway. Other than feeling a little bad for not getting it done, it's kind of a relief to be done with it.
She showed me a certificate she got from the Rotary Club this morning for her presentation. I told her I was impressed and that I missed giving presentations, I used to do them all the time 'way back when'.
I mentioned that I have decided to put together an 'Adult Ed' course on something to do with the Internet. I realize that is one of the 'do this for Frank' things I need to do.
She reminded me that I have a bunch of certificates and awards that I had gotten when I was the 'guru' of my company, before I sold it and crashed. She said I should put them on the wall so I can be proud of my accomplishments.
I thought about that for a moment and said "You're right, I've been ashamed of what went WRONG then, instead of being proud of what went right."
So, tonight I took down most of the pictures if she and I and put up the various framed awards and plaques I had been given for all the support I gave the community when I started my company from 1995-1998. I only had room for 8 of them but they are all nice.
She came down later after she went to bed because I had gone upstairs for something and she said 'did you want to talk about something? You keep coming upstairs' (it was one time).
Then she noticed the awards on the wall and said "I don't remember there being so many of them, they look nice".
I said that it felt good to remember them again.
Anyway, she seemed like she was feeling like something was bothering her and that was when I asked her one last time to be sure she isn't mistakenly getting involved with the guy, and be careful with the messages. She said she would, it was silly and not important to her.
So, we actually talked a little. She's still comfortable with her decision, and sees how this messaging 'friendship' could be misunderstood so hopefully she's going to back off a bit.
I don't know what's really going on with her, but I didn't accuse or attack her, I just told her to be careful because out of context, a message can take on a negative life of its own.
So, I put up some of my awards. That was my first 'for frank' move.
