Real growing and healing

[saffie]

I guess I just felt that people were being too hard on her and not hard enough on me. I don't want to be given any kind of pass because I'm 'frank_d'.

I'll be ok.

Frank, I came to these boards post you becoming an 'icon' so I am not giving you any kind of 'pass'. You are just another poster on these boards to me.

I have commented on your situation per your posts on this thread. I don't know your W , (obviously), but she seems like a 'runner' rather than a 'doer' when it comes to you.

Regardless of whether she is a saint or a sinner she is messing with your head. You must STOP focusing on her and get your own house in order. You need to get past the anger from her A. Seems like you still carry it around. Boy oh boy can most of us relate to that. It's what brought me to the boards - my H's A had been finished nearly a year by the time I came here but the aftermath was about to kill my M. My head was my biggest enemy. (It still is and always will be I think. I THINK too much).

When are you going to stop going on and on about your W and start work on Frank. You are not a hero at the nmoment you are a mess. Sounds like you have hidden that for so long and the adulation you have received from other sources has been enough to keep you going until now but it no longer is. You are human. Recognise your foibles and start getting help for dealing with them.

We all know our S's will run for support to people who only hear their half of the story and who will validate their decisions. That is exactly why you have to ignore your W and what she says others advise her to do.

Frank, prove to yourself and your children what you can do and how strong you are. Stop harping on about those pictures on the wall - that's all they are, pictures. If your W can't look at them then good - it's probably due to guilt - let her experience that.

This pity party has got to stop.