Long and Bumpy Road #2

[JAK58]

So2

How are you? Im a little worried.

JAK

[Startingover2]

I am ok Jak...I started posting in Newcomers when you were busy. You can go check it out if you want.

Honestly, nothing much is new. Pretty much the same old thing, new day. I pushed him away since Thanksgiving and its been tough. Now I am at the point where I need to figure out how to have a working relationship with him regarding our daughter. I am now almost 31 weeks and its getting closer and closer.

I honestly have no idea what the status of he and OW are. They both swear they are just friends but its enough to make me uncomfortable.

I think in his perfect world we would continue on like this and not have any changes. I need to accept that and figure out how to coparent with him. I see an attorney on Monday to find out what my rights/his rights are, child support, etc. before I open my mouth to him about all that.

Right now he is trying to be very nice. Not sure if its because the baby is getting closer or what. I am not sure. I just go along and keep my distance.

I have been thinking about you. I hope things in your world are getting better. If you can read my thread and let me know what you think.

[Startingover2]

OMG he is such a flipping liar!!! I am so mad I am seething right now. This may be hard to follow but I will do the best I can.

5:30 tonight
H: Have a good night. I have a really bad headache. I will talk to you tomorrow.
Me: Are you home?
H: yeah, I am going to bed.

Now H just lives less than 2 miles from me. I thought this was wierd as it was so early and he was sorta cutting me off for the night feeling. Like there would be no more communication.
So I drove by his house. He wasn't home. I knew it.
I went by again when I had to go out at 6..not home. Yes I know it was bad but I drove by every half hour until 7:15. Still not home.

Then about 7:20
H: I would really like to come by and see you and baby tomorrow.
Me: Are you going back to d's soccer tournament tomorrow? Are you back now?
H: Are you home right now? Can I come by later tonight? (almost like he was fishing because he sensed me fishing)
Me: Yes, when do you want to come by tonight?
H: I am laying on my couch trying to get rid of my headache. I am going to take a bath and I will call you in a few minutes.

I was out in his driveway! How could he say that?
I lost it and this is what I said

ME: Thats funny. Im in your driveway and your not home. Whatever.
H: I just left to get something to eat. Do you want me to come by or not?

I haven't answered. He is so lying to me. More than likely he is with OW and making sure I am staying put so he could see her. Either way he is lying. And no reason to lie if he didn't want me knowing where he was.

HELP HELP HELP

[JAK58]

He can't lye on the couch and be out getting somthing to eat at the same time.

GO DARK!!!!

Either he will decide to work on things or he won't but either way you will be fine. I know it may not seem like it right now and you are scared. Some of the strongest people I know were scared having gone through things like this but they came through it as wonderful, independent, individuls and I know you can too.

I was so scared at first at the thought of my 30 year marriage ending. Now I know that yes I would be sad but also excited for what the rest of my life may hold for me.
Life is what you make it, and you can sit and worry and be scared and think you need XH or you can go make the best of life for you and your children and if XH decides to get his head out of his A$$ then fine if not then to bad for him!!!!

JAK

[Startingover2]

I totally agree Jak. He sent a text yesterday asking what my problem was? HA

I sent the following:

I am having a baby. I cannot think about you, your lies, or the slut you were with. You life and priorities are so messed up. You seem to have no conscience or regrets for your choices. I have alot of decisions to make. Goodbye.

This is how he responded and I haven't heard since:

Its a no win situation with you. God only knows why you think and believe the way you do.

He lied while I was sitting in his driveway. He was out all night.

So Jak, by dark. No answering. Nothing? Never? Totally ignore?

[JAK58]

SO2,

You could do a semi dark in that you will answer texts once in a while and just give the info needed for an answer but not a R convo. EX: only about fiancial or children. Like we stated before he knows how to string you along because you always fold and always do the same by going back to him thinking he might change.

GO semi dark. Let him know point blank (but not accusing) that you feel he is lying about things and that you will not put up with it.
You will know how to word it.

How do you know he was not home all night?

JAK

[JAK58]

I do think that you need to go Dark and yes that means don't answer no texting nothing but not ever just wait and see what happens from there for a while.

[runningoutoftime]

ME: Thats funny. Im in your driveway and your not home. Whatever.
H: I just left to get something to eat. Do you want me to come by or not?

He knows he has you wrapped around his finger.

[Startingover2]

ME: Thats funny. Im in your driveway and your not home. Whatever.
H: I just left to get something to eat. Do you want me to come by or not?

He knows he has you wrapped around his finger.

Yuck, that is a horrible thought.

[runningoutoftime]

His response to you indicates this. He ignores your threats and knows you won't *really* follow through. He knows if he acts nice once in awhile you'll hang on.