I've been reading How to Change Your Man, etc. - Michele would probably point out that going ahead and doing something yourself is apparently a very successful way of getting your H involved in the things you would like done. And then maybe you could enjoy the fact that you're doing something together, too.

I'm not sure how to approach this if you are the person trying to get involved in the activity, because frankly my Hs 'help' has always irritated me in the past. If the opportunity it presents itself, I'll try to respond differently. But what could he do differently from his point of view...

I would like it if he would just hang out and talk to me while I'm doing something, without offering any unsolicited help or advice. A hand if I needed it and asked would be great; without my invitation, it feels like he thinks I'm incompetent.

If I seem busy and he takes up the slack in some way, which he's pretty good at, that's also very much appreciated. For example, I often dump clean laundry on the bed and then get busy doing something else. If my H notices the laundry and folds it, even though he does it all wrong \:\) I appreciate the effort. I haven't been acknowledging that stuff enough though, and I'm working on that.