I think you pretty much hit the nail on the head. There are other cases, more like what Was2sad described, that are more vivid. But I think the root is the same. She has resentment for what isn't done (some justified, and some not, I'd say), and in her mind it is an either or situation. In other words, if X isn't all done, I don't want you to do Y, where I is anything that I would do FOR her. I think it goes deeper, and you might have insight. It strikes me that she doesn't want me to do ting FOR her, because somehow she would feel that she would owe me something. And she doesn't want to owe me anything. Does that make any sense to you?
