thanks anew and yellowrose...you both know what a mess i have been.
trying so hard to really let go of the anger- of the expectations..all of it. man oh man i guess i didn't think of it as a peak....no wonder my head is going crazy---- i am putting expectations out there----that is very very dangerous!! thank you
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
yup let him peek, be validating, kind but not too gracious or he will run back in. but work on releasing that anger.....he cant possibly come home while you still have that..you wouldnt be yourself ready
Me 53 H 51 OW 25 Bomb may 06 left june 8/ 06 ILYBNILWY (twice!) 7/6/07 H wants to come home 7/21/07 H comes home 7/07 -7/08 long haul letting go of OW now piecing in earnest
lin - i guess i didn't realize that i was holding onto the anger until the other day i got an email from patti....she said release the anger. she reminded me that synde comments about ow and questions about ow etc all show that there is still anger in me.
the peek - hmmm what an interesting experience. i do want him to know that i am ok without him - and i am doing ok. i do miss him. like we all do...thank you again lin.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
actual get on without him. something i never wanted to do...thought that he would be part of my life forever. thought about that today as I was getting ready. his gray hairs, my saggy parts--- it was all suppose to be ok because it was what we did "together".
it is ok. i am thankful today that i was the one who wrote the checks-paid the bills, arranged everythign etc. i can not imagine what this would be like if i hadn't. even harder - i was so financially dependent on him--but i still "knew" how to do things...and now God has given me this outstanding job where my midn really does need to be busy. i am so thankful!
i do have a question..
has anyone ever written a letter or email and apologized for thigns you realized you did wrong? I mean i was listenign to Dennis Ranney the other day - or someone and they were talkign about men and what they need. I realized (YET ANOTHER THING) that I did to my husband - or didn't do. And i feel bad... it was wrong of me. Has anyone ever written a note EXPECTING NOTHING BACK --- just to acknowledge that I finally understand the burden he bore financially? (or whatever it was???)
I WONT do anything without talking to C first. AND IT IS NOT the time to email him as he just peeked...but at some point in the next few months I was thinking I would like to share that with him. NOT TO GET A REACTION - just to let him know I realize what i had done and ask him for forgiveness.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
Yes, I know BND did, and she posted about it - quite a while back. It wasn't, as I recall, unitl he was quite a long way through the journey, but if you contact her via the thread I am sure she will point you in the right direction, about content and timing.
Yes I wrote a letter of apology to my H. I emailed it to him. I think I did it too early in the process though b/c to this day I don't know if he read it and he certainly never responded.
Me 43 XH 45 M 2.7.88 Divorce 7.10.09 Kids D20,S17 & D15
that is what i am wondering. i think some day i need to do it..but at present it doesn't think like he would recieve it right. i want him to know i was wrong - but i think right now he would see it as a ploy to get him home.
M-20 years/BOMB 12/24/06 Moved out 3/12/07 D final 7/30/2008 finding myself again
