Do NOT put blame on one or the other of you! Don't do the "Daddy has done things to make Mommy unhappy", uh uh. I would go with what S has seen that "Mom and Dad aren't happy together, Mommy cries alot and Daddy is mad alot, we don't like living this way. We think we all will be happier if we live in separate houses" Talk about all the things that will make the children feel secure, let them know they are absolutely NOT to blame for any of it, this is between Mom and Dad. Lay out the plans for them, include some ideas from them re schedule etc if possible. Tell them "we are still going to be a family but a different kind of family", tell them that Dad and Mom are going to try to be friends (if that is true) and keep going to Church together etc. I would be a little leery about H sleeping at your home once per week, that seems a bit confusing for the kids. Just remember that this will be a heartwrenching discussion for all of you, the kids will cry big time and so might you and H, that's OK. It's OK for the kids to see some adult pain as long as it doesn't supercede their own. My heart goes out to you.
