Well - I went above and beyond to help. About 5:00 last Friday W texted me that she was at Urgent Care with an ear and throat virus. She felt like death. I texted back that i wish I could be there, and she responded funny how that works out. I tested back that I was on the way... She texted back no, shwe would be OK, but I said don't rbe stubborn I was coming. I am 900 miles away and I drove all night to get there to help with the kids.
I took the kids to school Monday and said I was leaving from there. She asked if I would have breakfast with her and youngest S. I did. When I left S was crying to come with me and W was crying, thanking me for everything.
On the way home, W texted me a question about benefits (she is starting a job) and was talking about open enrollment in July. I said that July was a long ways away and it sounded like her plans to stay there were firming up (i know!). She got a little huffy and we hung up. Later she called me about paint and said she was not inferring anything about long-term plans, just wanted to know if we should both be paying for family coverage now.
Last night I could tell the kids were not being good when they called, and she got on the phone last like always and was not real nice, so I just said I would talk to her later. She texted me later and apoligized, saying that it was a tough night. I texted back that I understood and was not mad. My text did not make it, and so she texted me back 2 hours later apoligizing again and satying that I must be pretty upset. So I called her and said that I had texted and that I understood and was not mad. We talked for a little longer.
This morning she e-mailed me some questions about paint, and then called me to talk further...I was not in my office and she left a v-mail. I called her back later and we tgalked again for a little bit.
Driving up there - 13.5 hours - and back was brutal, but I'm, glad I did it. I have not always been there when needed because of work and this was a 180. I've been thinking about writing to her why I came, but I think I should probably just let my actions speak for themselves... Things seem to be better so I am afraid I would just screw it up by "documenting" why I did what I did. Do you agree?
Hi doa- She knows what you did and why you did it. She may be in crisis but you don't need to point out the obvious. Just let it all sink in with her...and I know it is hard, but try to avoid talking about those long term plans. Your W can't probably can't plan what she is doing tomorrow let alone 6 months from now.
Take care and get your rest after that brutal drive!
Man -- it is tough to stay cool. I think we are having some baby steps and I just want to push, push, push! Even doing pretty good at GAL, it all comes back to the surface when there are some positive interactions.
Hey all. Been plugging along. I have a trip home to visit the kids this weekend so I'm excited about that. Not much new from W -- did respond in a text to me about the kids that she doesn't know if she can ever get past her anger & resentment of me... Huh!? I know I am/was not perfect and have acknowledged many faults and have worked on them. But I just can't understand at all that statement. I just said I understand and that there was noting I could say to change that...
yeah!