Wear your rings? Yes?/No?/Why?/Why not?

[Rollercoasterider]

Am I making the right choice here? Or is there no right choice?

There is no right choice here. Wearing my rings didn't prevent me from GAL or focusing on me, but they may interfere with that for you.

If wearing your rings makes it so you are unable to Stand well, don't do it--and I don't mena if it makes your husband mad, but if it makes GAL and such difficult for you.

HUGS,
RCR

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Right or wrong is defined by YOU in this matter. Not us.
Now if you told him I am never taking my ring off unless we are divorced and you did take it off, I'd say you need to be consistent. But right or wrong?

Judgement call.

[MissH]

Thanks RCR and Jack, I do think wearing them will just make it harder for me to drop the rope.

They are such beautiful rings. I do hope there comes a day when I am wearing them again for the right reason.

[Tipper]

Hey all,
I just wanted to chime in and say: I still wear my rings. My H has gone through 3 rings in the last three years(due to loosing them, according to him, yeah right, I know better now). For a few years before he left he would wear them on and off. Then I would buy him a new one when he said he lost the old. I was such a sucker that truely had no idea he had anything truely wrong with us and our M. When he dropped the 2nd bomb in dec. '07 and moved out, I had noticed that he was not wearing his(3rd)ring that I bought for him when he came back the first time.
Despite all of his actions (w/the rings),I still feel that It is important to me to still wear mine. It helps me to remember to fight for what I believe in, and I do beleive in this M, even if he dosent RIGHT NOW. I do believe today, that it will take a divorce for me to ever take them off. He gave them to me and I believed it was for life. It may not be anymore, but there is no way to tell until it is over - or not(hopefully).
He never questioned me still wearing them when he left the first time, so I believe he will probably not ask about my rings being on this time either. If he does ask, I will let him know: "I am wearing the wedding rings because I am true to my vows/and commitments that I made before the Lord until the very end, and that I am not trying to hold on to him or the past by having them on".
I do believe wearing the rings helps to keep me focused on what is important, and on the bigger picture at hand in all of this.
TIPPER

[kissak]

I took my rings off....in the beginning it was because it was a constant reminder of US and there was not an us anymore...then later when I wanted to put them back on and stand....I couldnt wear them anymore....I had lost so much weight, that they didnt fit me anymore....

I say it depends on the individual...I guess a part of me didnt want other people to think I was holding on to something that they think will never be...I shouldnt care...but I do.

My H hardly ever wore his rings...said it was because his work wouldnt let him......He works at a big plant with alot of safety rules...although he did wear them for a while...now I am beginning to wonder. First time he moved out, I kept his wedding ring. The last time he moved out, I put it in a small box and wrote in the box that I would always love him and sent it with his belongings.

[tmi]

At this point, I'm not even sure where my H wedding ring is and I won't be putting mine back on without more of a commitment from my H.

What I'd like to do is to get new rings for both of us should we decide to recommit, to really mark that our relationship will be different. I'm pretty sure that I'm not completely motivated by the desire for a new ring...

[new_attitude]

I wear mine, he doesn't. I decided to keep mine on because I'm still married, for better or for worse, and my rings are a symbol of our commitment. He said he took his off because "it was bothering him." Yeah, right.

I think it's an individual choice, depending on individual circumstances and feelings, but I know it feels right for me to continue to wear mine.

[Drew]

Jack, I know the answer.

RCR, great minds think alike.

[Grace_O]

I wear mine. H never did (except wedding day). I have his in the original box. I wear mine b/c it reminds me. Not of what was, but of who I am and who I aim to be. I think I wear it more as a promise to myself.

I agree that it is a personal choice and we all do what we need to.

[elocin777]

I took my ring off when H moved out just to prove a point to him but it didn't last long because I am still married and I respect my wedding vows and that is what I told my kids. I made a committment for batter or worse and unless I have a finalized D they will continue to stay on my finger.