Frank, I have to agree with Amy here. In fact, I posted to you once a long time ago (first time around), questioning why you wanted to be with such a person anyway. Your reply was very defensive, so I backed off and didn't post anymore.
I see the same thing going on now. What is your pay-off for constantly defending her and blaming yourself? Please think hard about this. You have been doing it for years, so there must be something you get from it. The only other answer I have is that you think she may be reading your posts and you do not want to put it out there that you don't think she is the greatest thing ever.
Personally, I used to post about my H with the rule in my head that I would never say something on here that I would be worried about him seeing. It kept me in check and kept me from exaggerating anything. But, when people pointed things out to me, I did not dismiss or defend. I tried really hard to see things from another perspective.
Although, any of that would just require you to think about this more, and I don't know if more thinking is the best thing for you right now!
