Ann, I'd say skip the books for now. Okay... you can read the books... but try to do some things to move you out of your head and into your body. Out of your thinking and into your feeling. Become reacquainted with your body... Get a massage, facial, manicure, pedicure regularly. Cherish your body. It is the vessel that carries your soul through this life. Buy some nightgowns made of beautiful soft fabrics, and wear them for YOURSELF. Nap nude under the softest throw you can find. Walk around the house naked when no one is home. Take belly dancing lessions. See where I'm going with this? Every morning when you wake up, take a minute to check in with your body: where are you achy, sore, feeling good, feeling needy. DON'T think of your body only as a source of problem/pleasure between you and your H. It's your home, your temple, your sanctuary.
I've read a gazillion books, as have most of us on this site... and books are great. But what you're looking for, i.e., a sense of connectedness with your body, your womanly sensuality... I don't think that can be found in a book, unless it's a book of practical exercises.
You might try "The Woman's Comfort Book" a book about self-nurturing.
It's natural to like to feel pleasure... I'd rather see you try to reconnect with that part of yourself than to stay in your head.
You might also explore the site http://www.thework.com . It will make you mad at first, but there's a lot of good stuff there.
Remember: your thoughts aren't necessarily a valid source of info about what's going on. Your mind's job is to identify problems and then try to solve them. It wears itself out doing that.
