Hi I know Lou will know who I am but not sure anyone else will remember me,,,maybe Lil.
This is kind of an out there question in a way,,,its just that I really want general off the cuff answers as to whether I am being a bit,,,,prudish or old fashioned about this question....and really I'm not sure if this is unusual or is perfectly acceptable to most people.
I initially came to this site because of my H's ED problem and Lou said that Lil was very knowledgable and she helped me understand a great deal.
I also think my H was definately having a mid life crisis/depression. ...partly because of the ED and partly just unhappy with the relationship we had and a whole lot of external circumstances.
So I had gotten some herbal meds,,we were reconnecting really well,,pasionate kissing again for the first time in years....and eventually were able to ML again,,now without ANY meds.
However while we do have sex way more often,,,,although it does tend to be ME showing more of the desire,,,,it is way better than it had been for years and my H does respond and clearly enjoys it. The affection is there more from my H towards me,,,just little things like a hand touch when passing or a light kiss.
Thing is ,,,,he is still watching online porn a LOT. I say porn its more like he checks out girls online and video clips on sites ike agent vice and others. Now I know in some ways this should be no big deal and part of me thinks it was part and parcel of the ED problem BUT I am just NOT sure....especially since he no longer has trouble ML.
You see its all done in secret,,,,an example is say I go upstairs to wash and dry my hair and vaccuum he IMMEDIATELY goes on to these sites and looks at the girls online on various sites. He then looks at them while I am making dinner or watching TV EVERY DAY.,,several times a day.
Suppose I am out at the shops he then watches the video clips,,,,and some of them are pretty heavy IMO but I guess maybe I'm a bit off on this which is why I'm posting. An example is,,,,a lot of the clips are of anal sex,,,which in itself is fine to watch BUT the girl was crying and clearly distressed,,,,quite a few were not again in my eyes FUN porn,,,more about pain. One clip which I didn't see was of a rape and some girl being hurt...and then cut. That one was unusual I have to say there are more of just general sex than these but a lot of the clips he watches are,,,,unusual.
My middle son is heavily into porn and we talked about some of this and he did say he had accessed my H's files when he had his laptop and there was some pretty heavy stuff on there,,,and this son is no prude believe me.,,,but when I did say about my H watching the porn so much he did say mum every guy does this so....am I being nuts here????
Oh one other thing ,,,,even after having ML in the morning ,,,,literally half an hour or an hour later he was checkng out the sites and he isn't MB'ing while doing this.
He doesn'tknow I understand how to check the history on the computer,,,and I do feel it is kind of an invasion of his privacy BUT the reason I did this was because he lied and said it was my son accessing all these sites,,,,and it just isn't true.
