Lou, My H does this kind of talking all the time. Rather than owning up to what he's feeling,he projects it back to me, and somehow makes me feel defensive. It's taken a lot of work to undo this pattern; I have to stay aware, stop him in his tracks, and help him rephrase. He gets points for "getting it."
Here's what I mean:
COI: "I know you are less optimistic than me because you never call me."
I'd rather hear him say: "I am feeling xyz about the fact that you never call."
It's subtle, but it's an important distinction, IMO.
