I guess I needed to read that. I really am not sure if that is true of my H, but it does make sense.
H did pick d12 up for me last night, which was a huge help. I thanked him when he brought her in...he did not stay because s15 was in the room with me and ....well nothing has changed on that front.
H did call me a little while after he got home to tell me he gave d12 lunch money. He then apologized for not staying but he said he was not comfortable with s15 there and he didn't want s15 to be mad at me for letting h hang out.
I told him he was welcome to stay and that s15 would have to deal with it and then H said that he didn't think it bothered me that they don't speak. That H is dead to s15. I told him that it certainly hurts me to the core that 2 of the people i care for most in this world are not speaking. I ended it with that. Didn't need to get sucked in.
So, my feeling is that part of what is keeping H in this crisis could be the fact that s15 is not speaking to him. That it is his excuse for staying out there and that instead of dealing with it he is using it to fuel his pity party. ...Does this make sense? Could it be part of this?
Anyway, H ended the conversation by saying that he would be home if I needed anything. I fell asleep early and didn't hear from him.
I did send him a quick tm this morning thanking him for picking up d12 last night and I asked him to let me know how his bloodwork turned out. I told him that I was worried about him. I am hoping he finds this sincere.
So that's that. Not sure if the therapist is helping or what. H has been gone for 21 months now and I know the crisis started around the summer of 2004, so.....he must be a slow roaster if he hasn't baked yet.
