Just bought a 1 way non-refundable ticket to Dtown

[SirPrizeMe]

Let me just add.... I had the same feelings about a "tarnished relationship" in the beginning, when I first found out about the betrayal. But I have since changed my thinking on that.

I had placed all my trust in my wife, and while I recognized she was only human, and I accepted her "faults" in my heart - they were not really faults at all in my mind, just part of who she was, just part of the package that was her - anyway while I accepted that she was human and also that I myself was human and had faults, I held our relationship up high. I believed in love, in our relationship, in commitment. I believed in all those things and knew in my heart that those good things were what life was worth living for, those things were true and constant and would always be with me. Those things would make the good times better - vacations, cooking in the kitchen, ballgames with the kids - and they'd make the tough times which were sure to come, bearable - a car accident, an untimely death in the family, disease, the loss of a business, one of our kids getting pregnant, or whatever life was going to throw at us. I knew, deep down knew, that we'd be together, our commitment was unshakable.

But then the betrayal, and the realization that our relationship was in crisis, and ... oh, that was tough.

Whoops! Where was I?? oh yeah, my point was that seeing my grief over the loss of the "perfect relationship", was very hard on my wife. I talked to her a lot about it. About my pain. In retrospect, it was very hard on her. Honesty is good, but in the right way, in the right time. All that honesty was too much for her, at that time, I think. Seeing what it did to me, ... it launched her into a depression I think, that she is not yet out of, maybe not yet even admitting.

I wish now, that I had been stronger then. I wish now that I had protected her feelings more, at that time. I wish now that I had thought less about myself - how hurt I was, how betrayed I felt - and more about us together. If I had been more gentle on our relationship, more careful. If I had thought about *her* a little more, in those early days, maybe I would have been able to be stronger for her, less obviously hurt, more stable for her. The irony is, she was hurt too, and she needed me to be strong for her, even if I was hurt. But I was a wailing baby.

I don't feel guilty about it, it's just that.. in retrospect, my hurt got magnified in her. On the other hand, for some couples, it's the honest realization of the hurt that the WAS caused, that brings them back in. There are no "right" answers.

But the way I look at it: in the end, redemption of another human soul, is maybe the dest d4mn thing I could do with my time on this earth. Relationships are important, and the tarnish is just a sign of their value over time.