Ya know...I really don't think I want to continue trying to save my marriage. Feels like I'm at the point of just letting go and moving on...since H has clearly moved on without me. And especially since I believe he feels he has a committment to his new monkey....seeing how she had his baby and all.
Yup...the trick got pregnant and they had a baby together June, 2007. Only 6 months after H left home. So according to MY calculations, she got pregnant around the Sept/Oct, 2006 timeframe when H was still at home with me. Sounds about right...he started acting real funny around Nov, 2006. Probably when she told him she was pregnant.
Needless to say, the shyte hit the fan when I found out about that one. And now they have moved in together....one big happy family. Right....
So even though H has been slowly coming around with the "I miss yous" and what-not...I don't think I can keep going with this hanging over my head. Even if he does come back, this trick will forever be in our lives.
I consider myself to be a pretty strong person...a strong, independent woman. But this...devastating. I don't have enough strength to deal with this one. I spent YEARS...wasted YEARS...pleading with him to start a family together. We each have one child outside of the marriage but none together....I wanted that sooo bad. He was adamant "I don't want no more kids!!!" he would always say to me. So I guess he just didn't want no more kids WITH ME.
I don't know of anybody else that has ever had to deal with this type of shyte. How do you go on after this??? I don't think there is enough shoes, boots or clothes in the world to get me past this one....
