Sun Facing Reality 5

[brueniap]

Could you not just tell H the plans in a casual manner and leave it that if he shows up he's certainly welcome to go? Just say we are leaving for the Cheesecake factory at such and such a time for son's birthday. That way he's informed. If he shows up in time to go.......he can go............

if he doesn't........or if he goes out running.........just let it go.........let it go............let it go.

if you're going to live with him it has to be bearable for both of you. I so agree with Snodderly. Just reading your account of the cigarette smoke and the younger kid.........let it go. Practice on yourself to say that every time something comes up that is driving you nuts. let it go............

it's eating you up Sun..........and destroying you. you've got to let it go and live for you and your life and your kids. let it go.......

if you are discouraged with your marriage and standing it is understandable. but I think that many times you make your sitch even more unbearable and it is so hard to live that way. I've told you in the past how much you remind me of me. Your thots are just as consumed by the negatives surrounding you as his are. You are each feeding on each others negativity and then you both go away pissed off over and over and over again.

since you will not move out............and he will not move out...you have to change YOU so that you can tolerate your living situation. It will not change any other way. Only with you.

you are always in my thots and heart and prayers.

brue