oooh....and frank...just a reminder from MY THREAD:

Originally Posted By: frank_d, 12/29/06, FIB's thread

My W and I had a 2 week period of intimacy then suddenly one day she was back to 'ice queen' and stayed there for about a month. It really threw me and I had to pick myself back up as she actually started the divorce process - because she 'knew' that was the way it 'had to be'.

It was then that I pretty much decided that I COULD live without her and that if she wasn't going to choose to be with me then she was losing a lot in the process.

I grew a lot of confidence then and I pretty much told her to move out and get on with HER life so I could get on with MY life.

I'm not saying you should tell her to move out, what I am saying is that you should simply stop 'trying'. Not 'stop caring' but stop always being there all the time. You try too hard and you also probably keep your distance when you shouldn't. You have to be ok in your own skin around her no matter what she's feeling. She clues into the fact that you get scared and feel unsafe when she is like this.

Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11)
Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t
Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10
Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;