H had an affair, now wants me back,,,

[ntl]

Sorry you have to leave this guy. He has cheated on you so many times. It is going to hurt but there are men out there who won't cheat. Like a poster said, if you have babies it will be 100 times worse if he did it again then you will end up a single parent. I am amazed you have put up with this so many times

I appreciate your comments. I certainly have heard this from others and it is not something I take lightly, flippantly, or without a tablespoon of salt.

I know it looks horrible...it feels much worse. The thing is, I live my reality and my truth and if I am very, very truthful, I know that H is a flawed, flawed man, but one with several good, good qualities.

I, like you, like the many other wonderful people on this board, have deeply held beliefs and guiding principles that come and give us the direction for our lives. Right now, mine is telling me I need to put some time in to my marriage to see if my H can at all be a changed man. I know he needs to want it for him, and I know I can't nag, push, plead, prod, or moan my way there.

And maybe after all of this, he'll still be a cheater. But at least I will have done everything I can to support the person I love underneath the demons in his work. If we don't work out because he can't stop the compulsions, then I can move on. But right now, I feel like I need to stay and be a part of whatever transformation there may be.

Regards,

ntl