Real growing and healing

[saffie]

Frank,

You are a wounded animal lashing out in all directions and turning everywhere for answers. Somtimes there just are no answers.

I think your conversation with Dee was great and concurred with what everyone else here is SCREAMING at you. FORGET your bl@@dy W - she is messing with your head big time. She is scared and running. She comes and asks you if you are OK out of guilt and hopes that she will get a positive response from you so as to make herself feel better. Everyone thinks she is spouting a crock of sh!t apart from her 'New Age' friends who have the same run away from anything difficult mentality. Dee gave you sound advice.

Please stop posting about that stupid W you are married to and tell us how you are going to 'fix' Frank. Your W is a hindrance NOT a help and however much you wish it were otherwise you cannot make it so.

Don't get angry at her questions, they are asked for her benefit not yours - she wants answers that assauge her guilt - she is a fool.

You know from things that have been said to you by others on here that you have to work on you. I had to work on me. By reaching rock bottom and then finding a way up a by product was I saved my M - but it was a by product. The main aim was to save myself. I had a father who was incredibly intelligent but a vile drunk. I was never physically harned but verbally I was belittled on a daily basis until I felt little self worth. It's taken the best part of 40 years to recognise that and then find the appropriate help. I still functioned and held down a good job pre children but it stopped me being a rounded 'whole' individual. I still struggle with it daily but I can now deal with it more often than not. My response when I felt vulnerable was to be angry but it wasn't the correct response at all and drove those I love away even further.

Frank, help yourself, THEN look at the bigger picture. STOP focusing on your W. She just happens to be someone who inhabits the same surroundings as you at the moment. She is not your support.

Dee spoke a lot of sense - unlike your W