I read recently, that sometimes, being able to appreciate the differences between you and your spouse, can be just as important, if not even more important, than recognizing the similarities.
It gave examples to reframe viewpoints, with things like:

"he's so anal" == "he can organize things really well"

"he never forgets ANYTHING" ... "he never forgets important things to me like our aniversary, or appointments that i/we need to go to, that I would miss otherwise..."

well... the book had better examples just trying to give you an idea.

Quote:

I can't imagine the hoops he would need to jump through for me to feel comfortable with him again.


SO... dont "imagine"... just ask him. then decide whether what he asks, is something you are ok with. rather than decide that you dont want to do something that he isnt even asking you for.

My current status: june 2006. Wife ran out and filed D.
Finalized Jan 11, 2010, after 12.5 years M.
3 wonderful sons caught in the middle