Let me relate a similar issue about my life and how the wisdom of another helped me see all is not lost.
At the age of 25 I was diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis. A form of rheumetoid arthirits that affects the spine and possibly other extremeties. This was a huge blow. I fully expected to go see the Ortho doc and come out wth some exercises - possibly a prescription to fix the constant back pain I was feeling. I came out of the clinic sat in my truck and cried. I was told I may end up in a wheelchair, I was told to limit any and all repetitive physical activity, I was told to plan on giving up most of the things I enjoyed. At 25 yrs old, I felt defeated.
As time went on I slowly let my sport activities end, I continued with other hobbies, but payed the price with constant back pain. My pelvis became fused. By the age of 42 I had a total hip replacement. I had to ask my employer to make provisions for me. My XW began her affair and my mother passed away all in the same year. But....
As I found myself questioning the future, questioning the goals I had in my mind, questioning where I was actually heading, the person who simply showed me that doing the right things is really what we should strive for. Finding our happiness in knowing we did our best where we were and not where we thought we should be, can bring us an equal amount of pleasure as grasping the next rung on the corporate ladder. Being able to enjoy free time as opposed to working our a$$ for "the man".
That person was my Dad. Through my Mothers battle with inflamitory breast cancer, my Dad never faultered. He stayed by her side as her caregiver. At my Mom's wishes he down played the seriousness of her condition to keep hope in our hearts. He did it all because he made the decision to do it the best way he knew how. The right way. Not right for him, just right. He cared for my mother until the day she went to hospice. The following day she passed away. At my mother's funeral, I honored her but also honored him by expressing my pride in his committment and his character. I don't know if anyone understood through the tears but I know he did, because he came over to me and hugged me as I choked out the last words. Our relationship changed that day. He showed me what charater is and I have follwed his path. I can't think of anything more valuable. I take more pride in discovering my character than any other accomplishment.
My point is, no matter what life presents to you, strive to find the challenge you seek in all forms. Don't look to the next job, don't think about the next house. Simply stop and look for the challenge right in front of you. What can you improve, who can you mentor, who can you support? Simply adjust your challenge to yourself, not what's around the corner. What can you accomplish for yourself and keep your loving, budding, marriage strong?
I'm not suggesting you give up your dreams, maybe just re-define or possibly re-align them. If you continue to think of these unattained goals as frustrations, you will plant the seed of resentment. As you continue to strengthen your relationship with H and you begin to see the strength building, approach your H with your long term goals. Use the effective communication skills you've discovered to openly discuss the issue and see how he responds. If your H is adimently opposed, adjust your goals. Channel the energy you put toward your goals, in other directions.
