It's funny that my H accused me of being with other men also. He had the nerve to ask me if I had been with another man. I told him I had not "been" with another man, kissed another man, or even held another man's hand... Wow, wish they could say the same thing about not being with another person. It's so ridiculous that they do this and then are paranoid that we would also do the same thing. Do they do this to justify their betrayals?
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I don't know why they do it. I can't stop him from thinking it. I usually just deny it once, then ignore him. Sometimes I wish I could erase 2007 from our marriage.
Same thing with me! (No! I'm not talking about meeting husband in Vegas... not that there's anything wrong with that...)
My wife questioned me about being unfaithful. This was well after she filed divorce papers. When she asked me, I paused, looked in her eyes, told her no. She said "I don't trust you."
Then she proceeded to ask me seven different ways - did I ever sleep with anyone else, did I ever have sex with anyone else, have I ever dated anyone else during our marriage, etc etc. Like it was Bill Clinton's lawyer. I assured her again I did not. I told her I thought about it, but decided it wasn't for me.
She said, "Well, you never lie." (not to her, not about big stuff, and she knows it). I could see her trying to figure out how she can have such suspiscions in her mind, yet they are totally unfounded. I was thinking - "it's just like everything else, baby! Your own guilt being projected onto me!" But I said nothing.
I wish she would drop it. Drop the guilt. Too bad she feels like she has to wreck the marriage to do so.
M 43 S14 S13 D11 D7 Divorce final: Jan 2009 Making it up as I go....
Sir, just lately I feel he is 'getting it', that he does actually believe me that I haven't cheated. Still, he asks a lot....
D6 is very ill today. High fever and feeling pretty bad. We have an appt with a specialist coming up soon. This, I think, isn't related to her other tummy issues, just a rotten virus. I enjoyed having her home and the snuggle time, but I do want her better, my big girl.
H and I talked a bit today, being home with D6 together. I asked about Florida. I got "I want you to go but am afraid you will get your hopes up for us.". Um, ok. He wants to be friends. Claims I won't 'lose' him if we get divorced, that we'll be friends and co-parents and we do best as friends. He still isn't physically with OW (I am choosing to trust him), but I didn't ask about talking with her on the phone. I think I know that answer anyway.
We hashed up the past hurts but in a good way, I think. Overall, it was good. One of those talks where it doesn't get you anywhere, but helps you dig into the hurt a bit. I told him I missed him, that I stand for us, that I would want a 'new' marriage. That it would be hard, but I see us doing it. He admitted he is terrified to try 'us' again. I told him I was scared as well.
LO: H is scared to ask about you. He has no right to, and probably doesn't want to hear you are moving on.
Glad to see there's progress. You are a very strong woman and have your head on straight. Go into everything with no expectations and you never know....things could work out. I'm thinking of you.
Last edited by Hope_11; 01/16/0802:20 AM.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
