, but here in California (I know, we're all pinko, tree hugging liberals
WHAT....................Now Nut..... Talk about Marks W but Leave California out of this.....Where are you from??? Berkley?? Maybe Sebastopol???Oh I know San Fran.... Hey plenty of us conservatives here...
Dr. Love
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
WHAT....................Now Nut..... Talk about Marks W but Leave California out of this.....Where are you from??? Berkley?? Maybe Sebastopol???Oh I know San Fran.... Hey plenty of us conservatives here...
Sacramento/Woodland/Yuba City, depending on the time of day. And I hug my trees every day--just look at my handle.
Theo's up late tonight.
Originally Posted By: theoden
Mark, Fight for shared custody. DO NOT LET THAT BASTARD RAISE YOUR CHILDREN.
Being the doormat to keep wife happy and sacrificing your kids is insane.
--Theoden
and right as usual. Ovaries and breasts don't necessarily make a person the default parent. Fight her with everything you have...even if it means exposing some of her more unsavory behaviors. Your kids need a real man as a father, not some pathetic waste of DNA. You have boys (and a girl, I know) who need to grow up seeing how a real man conducts himself. In time, they'll be proud that their dad did the right thing.
Thanks to everybody for the support. I do intend to fight the good fight. The very idea that she believes that Shrek can just step in and fill the void left by her kicking me out is repulsive to me.
Nut, there is one family law judge presiding in this jurisdiction, and, in the absence of physical, emotional or substance abuse, or abandonment, he is inclined to rule in favor of shared parenting time. Not sure why her lawyer doesn't know this. I think she's gonna hang her hat on my travel last year. It's been curtailed a lot, and I was gone for part of the week for two consecutive weeks just once since August. So alternating weeks would work.
Theo, I think that an 8/6 arrangement would be better than 4/3. But I do agree that they all need to spend a significant amount of time with me. Also, the presiding judge does not want to hear about adultery. It has no impact on custody, so he believes it does not belong in the courthouse.
As I was in bed last night, it occurred to me that my agreeing to the arrangement she wants (every other weekend + "whenever you want") would require a level of trust that I do not have for her. It's just not going to happen.
Thanks for asking ladies (wow, four fetching ladies asking about me... ). I am OK. Had a big divorce talk with the wife today. She is convinced that I have had sex with Shrek's wife. Twice. Also, she has convinced herself that I am tracking her, etc, etc, etc. I could go on and on. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "You just can't tell the truth can you?" I told her that I was being honest with her (did not point out to her that she is the one lying about Shrek).
I told her that, in spite of recent events, I love her and I think that we can repair the marriage. She disagreed. Oh, well. She knows how I feel.
Good for you, Mark. Whether she acknowledges it or not, you stated your position clearly. That's important.
Originally Posted By: Ohio_Mark
She will be proceeding with the divorce soon.
One thing: the custody issue may get contentious. She wants sole custody. I want to share the custody (I want to raise my kids, not sit back and watch Shrek do so). This will involve a battle, and this will only drive wife even further away from me than she is now. I am not sure how to proceed: As a doormat, and let her take the kids. Or fight for my parental rights. This is a non-negotiable issue in her mind. There will be no compromise outside of the courthouse.
I am inclined to take on the challenge at the risk of further alienating her. My kids deserve the fight.
Argh! OK, Mark, I just can't stand it. I have to get out my 2x4 a little here...
Originally Posted By: Ohio_Mark
Day before yesterday, she said that she is going to move forward soon with the divorce, and asked me whether I would cooperate in filing the paperwork. Well.... should I?
It took me about 3 minutes to find that quote, from July 14. I'm sure that, if I had longer, I could find many, many more like it. Your W has been saying she is going to file 'real soon now' for months and months.
My question isn't why she says this - hey, that's easy, it's part of the MLC script!
My question is, why do you believe it? You don't report this as "She claims once again she will be filing soon" - you report it as fact. Don't buy into this spew, man! It's garbage! You just told us yourself all of the many things that stand in the way of her moving forward - the numerous problems with having Shrek ever work out, the problems with child custody, not to mention her own confusion and pain. The MLC Master Plan is NOT coming off according to her screwed up concept of it!
And that gives you the answer, if you didn't already have it, about your kids. You do what's right, and you refuse to give in to her crazy ideas. She has shown that, with a hard road in front of her, no matter what crap she may SAY, she will ACT indecisively and wait for some kind of miracle. Don't let her delude herself that she'll get the kids - show her that you are a strong, loving dad who will do whatever it takes to keep your kids in your life.
Thread #10 22 year M, MLC, Piecing since 1/07 Goal: Live with confidence & enthusiasm!
As far as custody goes, don't accept a 4/3 of 8/6 deal, unless you are the 4 and the 8. Your child support payment will be based on the percentage of time that you have the kids. 45% is the cutoff point. Money aside, you deserve at least 50%.
My attorney is proposing a 5-5-2-2 schedule. I will have the boys M/T, CW will have them W/Th, and we rotate F,S,S. This is the commonly accepted plan in MN (not quite as liberal as CA).
Me: 44 S: 17 and 7 Final-6-13-08 I once went to a psychic who told me I would soon feel cheated......
She has shown that, with a hard road in front of her, no matter what crap she may SAY, she will ACT indecisively and wait for some kind of miracle. Don't let her delude herself that she'll get the kids - show her that you are a strong, loving dad who will do whatever it takes to keep your kids in your life.
Funny story, just this morning she said to me, "Where are the names for those couneslors for the kids? Why haven't you given them to me yet? Funny, you were all gung-ho about getting this done last week, but now you're dragging your feet." Um... pot, meet kettle... kettle, pot. I bit my tongue and got her the info...
But thanks for the wake-up Rob. However, given her state of mind, I have little doubt that she is going to move forward and file in less than 60 days.
Oh, just remembered one more thing: Yesterday, we were talking about finances, and I reminded her that she made more than I did in 2007. She said sharply, "I wouldn't go there. Is this the information you want the neighbors to know?" I stood silent... and she realized the stupidity of her question...
). I am OK. Had a big divorce talk with the wife today. She is convinced that I have had sex with Shrek's wife. Twice. Also, she has convinced herself that I am tracking her, etc, etc, etc. I could go on and on. She looked me dead in the eye and said, "You just can't tell the truth can you?" I told her that I was being honest with her (did not point out to her that she is the one lying about Shrek).