At this stage.. even the receptionists look good compared to the history thingy.. My dental hygenist is awesome btw.. she actually patted us on the arm !? It was good attention.. I think she really cared ?.. No phone number btw.. jsyk..
Hang in There.. do your thingy.. you are still grieving your loss.. do it ! It is needed.. and I am almost on the other side of it..
Tom, which of you two would take her out anyway? or would it be a threesome? Make Yourself pay for the evening (whichever of you two Yourself would be),OK! Hey,I just remembered a funny story about the nurse I mentioned. A couple of years ago I went for a routine physical and she had the chart and asked me how old I was, I said "I'm 45" and she looked at the chart and said "Whatis, you are not 45, you were born in XXXX so that makes you 44" and I replied "Wow, what a great clinic this is, I come for a Physical and I leave one year younger, I'm gonna tell all my friends about this place!" Whew, how embarassing! At least she likes my clothes!
It could be time for a family meeting ? I am not sure.. but I ran the bubble bath last night. so.. we know whose turn it is for that tonight.. Dont we ? It is the covers thing with me Wii...so displaced ? .. I mean.. I can overlook the snoring... but ?
OK Tom, enough of your petty internal problems, lets get back to something really important, ME! My question to all you DBers is: How do I treat CB when we have these rare "appropriate" social occassions. If she has indeed treated me in an understandable and appropriate manner here then it would make sense for me to treat her as usual, the old "happy to see you, how's it going" mode, which is pretty much what I did at the xmas concert (granted, she had to open the conversation). If she hasn't treated me in an appropriate manner then I may want to be pleasant but distant, for example at the Xmas concert I could have said "Nice to see you, enjoy the concert" and walked away. As I said, I try to be understanding of others and their situations but don't want to allow myself to be treated poorly because of it either. Again, where's the line? I've given my W so much rope I don't even know where the end of that rope is anymore, I don't want to do that with others too. Make sense? Sometimes too understanding says "walk on me, I'm OK with it" I'm done with that sh!t.
Today I am home sick. I've been feeling rather worn out and blah the past few days and yesterday realized "Hey, I'm sick!" It's hard to get your head out of your butt when you're feeling sick but I'm gonna try D14 is also sick and I told her yesterday that if I stayed home she could come over to my place today. I called in the morning to ask W what arrangements were made for D10 after school, do I pick her up at school or does she walk home? W refused to come to the phone yelling "I have no time for this" OOOKKKK! She had agreed to drop D14 at my place and obviously was pissed at that arrangement. The old whatis, sick or not, would have volunteered to drive over and pick D up if it was inconvenient for W, you know, placate her so noone else has to take a few verbal whacks, not now. She is fully capable of dropping off D, it's two minutes out of her way and I'm not feeling well. D14 called me back to say they were just about to leave and then said "we'll be there in two minutes, oh wait, mommy's in the middle of one of her tantrums, so we'll probably be five minutes" Smart ass! So when they arrived W dropped D at the lobby door, I waved to her twice (thinking the first time she didn't see me...oh sure!) as I let D in W just ignored me, refusing to respond, and then drove away... imagine that!!!! It just occured to me that this is why Coffee Buddy's similar kinds of avoidance tactics get to me. I have a lengthy history of a W who exhibits that kind of behaviour as a passive aggressive slap in my face whenever she's ticked by something. Ignore the bastard, make him pay for whatever I'm pissed about! It's hard to erase the emotional response from your hard drive when dealing with someone else! The message in both these situations is read by me as "you are nothing to me". Wow, how do you get away from that kind of feeling! I can't go around responding to everyone like they are my W whenever a similar behaviour is flashed. But, that is for another day. Anyway, D and I will spend the day coughing and resting.
Basically, what happened this morning is typical of our whole M, W is saying "Your illness is inconveniencing me, and that's not OK, so I'm gonna make you pay!" I remember once, when my dad was in hospital and I claimed a massage on her insurance plan and she was pissed, she said "do you realize this comes out of MY insurance money?" I replied sarcastically, "Oh, I'm sorry, I'll try in future not to let my petty health issues effect YOUR insurance money" It was all about HER, if I needed anything it was just an irritant in her eyes, "I have enough to deal with every day, I don't need more demands when I get home" That's one burned out lady, eh! Statements like "when you cry it makes me crazy!" witnessing her anger if I ever had the nerve to expect "tender, loving care" from her "I'm not that kind of W nor will I ever be!" Yup, what's not to love here! OK, rant over, I'm off to purge my mind of this kind of crap!!!
Great insight. Now, recognize that the world, and not even CB are your W.
Quit personalizing CB's actions. It is not all about you. It is not all about your needs.
She quit interacting with you because it did not work for her, most likely because she recognized that she was doing something wrong by betraying her R in subtle ways and/or inadvertently leading an emotionally needy man on.
Are we married to the same woman? Did you break your W.s vacuum and hide it???? I remember two years ago, buying a Christms tree and putting it up with the kids, and wife figuratively cutting my head off with a Ginsu knive of sarcasm! I spent $90 on the tree. We were both working, making over 200K a year. She laced into me like you would not believe, (but you actually would): "What the F*&k are you doing? We can't afford that kind of money!" No mention of "the kids love doing that with you"; "thanks for doing that", whatever.
I put myself in her shoes: "The kids love putting up the tree with you. Who cares? The tree's up and ti looks great!" Venus/Mars or just ridiculous behavior? Get better. Have some hot whiskey and lemon juice for me. We're not allowed to have any alcohol here. Probably a good idea with 160,000 people with automatic weapons and bad attitudes. Thanks for buoying up my spirits!
At least she likes my clothes! 
D14 is also sick and I told her yesterday that if I stayed home she could come over to my place today. I called in the morning to ask W what arrangements were made for D10 after school, do I pick her up at school or does she walk home? W refused to come to the phone yelling "I have no time for this" OOOKKKK! She had agreed to drop D14 at my place and obviously was pissed at that arrangement. The old whatis, sick or not, would have volunteered to drive over and pick D up if it was inconvenient for W, you know, placate her so noone else has to take a few verbal whacks, not now. She is fully capable of dropping off D, it's two minutes out of her way and I'm not feeling well. D14 called me back to say they were just about to leave and then said "we'll be there in two minutes, oh wait, mommy's in the middle of one of her tantrums, so we'll probably be five minutes" Smart ass! So when they arrived W dropped D at the lobby door, I waved to her twice (thinking the first time she didn't see me...oh sure!) as I let D in W just ignored me, refusing to respond, and then drove away... imagine that!!!! It just occured to me that this is why Coffee Buddy's similar kinds of avoidance tactics get to me. I have a lengthy history of a W who exhibits that kind of behaviour as a passive aggressive slap in my face whenever she's ticked by something. Ignore the bastard, make him pay for whatever I'm pissed about! It's hard to erase the emotional response from your hard drive when dealing with someone else! The message in both these situations is read by me as "you are nothing to me". Wow, how do you get away from that kind of feeling! I can't go around responding to everyone like they are my W whenever a similar behaviour is flashed. But, that is for another day. Anyway, D and I will spend the day coughing and resting.