Hi guys. Thanks for the insight into this. It helps so much. I figured out why I just can't stop analyzing his emails. When he was deployed last year, he sent some emails during the last two months of deployment (during his EA) and they weren't very loving. He would write I miss the kids and you. Love, H. Nothing much else. once in a while he would write "ILY". That was during the time he had lost feelings for me. I guess I'm just trying to see if this is like those emails, and if he really is still in love with me, or losing his feelings.
I know it's hard for him to express his feelings, in writing or speaking. He shows his love mostly by actions, so maybe that's what I'm missing. I know I also want the security back that I had while I was clueless last year (b/4 bomb). But I know that's not possible yet.
I know it's going to take a lot of time to get over everything that's happened in the past year, maybe I'm rushing things? I don't know.
I have also decided that I will not "tell" H what to do about having lunch with that lady and getting his bag back. I would like for him to just deal with the loss of a $10.00 bag, and if he wants dive pictures, he can dive here and take pictures. This person is so insignificant to his life that it shouldn't be a loss. But I feel that if he does decide to go to lunch with her, I will not be happy, and I don't know how I will respond to it.
He told me to get rid of a friend I had for many years (not that great of a friend lately, and an X-lover, but he had been a friend only for many years, even b/4 I met H). Anyway, he said that it made him uncomfortable, I told friend that our friendship was over, he flipped out, all info. in a previous post on another thread.
Anyway, I don't think it would be fair to have double standards, especially if he wants to be friends with someone who is friends w/ex-EA. I don't think that's fair, or proper. I will tell him how I feel about it, remind him that he did say that he wanted to put that deployment, and those people behind him for good, and let him take it from there. Hopefully, he will make the choice that's good for our marriage.
I turned on the TV yesterday for the kids (it has been raining here off and on for days). Dr. Phil was on talking about trust, didn't get to watch it because kids were around and it's too adult for them. Did anyone catch it?
