Thanks Sage! I have a great, beautiful picture of a place called "rainbow falls". It is on the big island. We saw it on our vacation. I don't know how to post it, but I know everyone would just relax, and revel in it's beauty. If you know how I can post it, let me know.
Also, got an email from H today. I had sent him two to his email that he uses when he's on trips, one never arrived, the other he got. I dont' know what's wrong with me, I read between the lines of his email. I think to myself that he didn't write he missed me, etc. Must not miss me, must not be in love, etc. WTF?? Anyway, I'm going to post it here so you guys can throw some 2 x 4's at me and maybe get me out of my bad pattern of thinking.
Also, last night I re-read the b-day card H gave me (from Mar. 31) where he wrote "ILY with all my heart", and the letter he wrote me on Valentine's Day. But then I think to myself, "well, that's not now, that's from a while ago, maybe his feelings changed". UGH.
Here's the email (he signed it PGAWNABE - as in PGA wannabe, because he's such a great golfer, kind of like an inside joke between us).
Hi Sweetie, I just got this E mail. All is well here and I wanted you to know I was thinking about you and wondering how you are doing. I have been working some long hours and every time I go to call you I look at the Time and it is o dark thirty in the AM there. Nothing else has been happening here. Yesterday I worked from 0100-3 PM today. I went back and slept until 7 PM tonight and came to work at 8 PM. I will work until around 1o AM or later and do the same thing. I just wanted you to know I was thinking about you all today and for the past couple of days. And I will try to call you in the next few days. I wanted you to know I have only received one E mail from you. I do not know where the other one went to..
I Love you, Your PGAWNABE Forever!!!!! H
Thats a nice letter, right? Why can't I stop analyzing it? Like, when he wrote about how he was thinking about "you all", meaning me and the kids, I think to myself, "well, he wasn't really thinking of me, just us", get it? Man, I wish I could just take it like it is.
