Ah, hon, I'm sorry that you are down. Seems to be a bit of an epidemic here on Piecing of late. After reading your thread, then Shiny's then LLs and grappling with my own mental status, I actually started checking out spas on the web! We could all use a break. Maybe I'll find some awesome images of relaxing ocean views and post them for us all.
None of the above is to diminish (or invalidate! ) what you are feeling now. this is hard, hard stuff and we're asked (or we expect ourselves) to do so much of it alone. The things I've heard about your H. of late sound SO positive!!! Really. He sounds as though he is really supportive and committed to you when he is around and able to be. Revel in that, my friend.
As for the fear and sadness, I wish that I could will them away for you and for me and for all of us here but I can't and neither can you. We can't go back to "the way that it used to be" or even to the images that we had of ourselves or our Ses or our M. On good days I can see that that is not only OK but actually good -- on bad ones, well, I feel as broken as you sound like you do.
You have so much on your plate right now -- all of the DB'ing plus the fears plus holding down the fort at home. What if you focus on the here and now -- no regrets of the past, no fears of the future. Just this minute. Do you like what you see? Can you feel safe and grateful and happy in just this moment? You have worked so hard and achieved so much...it's hard to believe that this very minute couldn't give you some solace and comfort.
I know it's hard for you to "take a break" with all of your responsibilities...but try some small things. A bubble bath with a glass of wine; a trashy magazine; a new bottle of awesome nailpolish; what would give the smallest of lifts?
I'm so proud of you and all that you've endured. I empathize with the tiredness that you are feeling right now. Take a deep breath, give yourself a hug and a pat on the back and know that it will pass.
Sage
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
) what you are feeling now. this is hard, hard stuff and we're asked (or we expect ourselves) to do so much of it alone. The things I've heard about your H. of late sound SO positive!!! Really. He sounds as though he is really supportive and committed to you when he is around and able to be. Revel in that, my friend.
