Thanks, Lil. That give me a lovely warm fuzzy to hear you say that.
Quote:
One more teeny thing... I wish you would not make subtle self-put-down remarks
That is a very good point. Ahem. There is no reason in the world why I should minimize what I need, like, or find comforting, for whatever reason.
I LOVE those net canopies. I'm actually going to look into this. Lots of times when I have insomnia, I lay down in my living room. on a white sheep skin rug the bf had bought me. I light a fire in my fire place and set myself up on the rug, with cozy blankets and fluffy pillows, and I just stare at the fire. It's almost like watching a fish tank, which I would get, but I travel too much. My cat will usually come and cozy up next to me on the rug under the blanket...
... I suppose all I really need to do is add the classical music and find a really good book... I haven't read in months... used to consume books like a machine...
Another thing I recently owned about myself is that I need a sense of security and emotional reassurance in an R. I really used to downplay, even ignore these needs because I typically involve myself with emotionally unavailable men. (That's where putting down my needs probably comes from). They may be good at providing security, but they are not so good with emotional reassurance (at least in a way that is meaningful to me. For them to give me what I need the way I need it is usually the very thing they cannot/will not give). Given that, I end up in a Passion Trap/power struggle.
So... these things I must keep in the forefront of my mind when in search of a new R. Those needs can actually undermine one another, because if I am feeling 'secure,' I can sacrifice my need for emotional reassurance, or vice versa. The former happened with my xH, and the latter happened with my xbf.
It is a good insight to have about myself. Now... finding one of those men, who can do both, is the kicker... because I don't want to be... 'fathered.' <-- That kills my sex drive.
Welp, I suppose this is why God invented dating. I just have to get through the 'chemical' phase first, before I can determine this about a man... otherwise, I'm just investing my beliefs in a biological cocktail.
Ahem. There is no reason in the world why I should minimize what I need, like, or find comforting, for whatever reason.
