Tied to the Whipping Post

[Punktmann]

I've been run down
I've been lied to
I don't know why,
I let that mean woman make me a fool
She took all my money
wrecks my new car
now she's with one of my good time buddies
they're drinkin' in some cross town bar

sometimes I feel
sometimes I feel
like I've been tied
to the whipping post
tied to the whipping post
tied to the whipping post
good lord I feel like I'm dyin'

My friends tell me
that I've been such a fool
and I have to stand down and take it babe,
All for lovin' you
I drown myself in sorrow
As I look at what you've done
nothin' seems to change
bad times stay the same
and I can't run

sometimes I feel
sometimes I feel
like I've been tied
to the whipping post
tied to the whipping post
tied to the whipping post
good lord I feel like I'm dyin'



I had a different song in mind for my new thread, but as with all MLC situations, things change quickly.

Things are what they are.

The good news is that eventually we see that we don't have to be tied to that whipping post anymore, the knots are in our hands.

I'm through with that crap.

Things will be what they will be.

I'm doing damn fine either way.

[mishka422]

WOW Punkt! That is an amazing song! Who is that by?

Good for you! You're absolutely right about doing damn fine either way. You only have control over you and you should find your own happiness. To heck with her! Best wishes on that.

[Punktmann]

Mishka, That's the Alman brothers. It's a great blues song. Drop me your email address.

There's a lot of music I listen to in a different way now, expecially the blues.

Mostly I can't listen to music or watch many movies now since just about everything is a freaking love story.

Oh, well, there's always John Wayne movies.

Hang tough girl, You're moving along faster than I did.

I'm glad.

[hopefloats7]

Punktmann, how are you doing?

[Punktmann]

HF7, I'm actually doing great. I know it's still a rollercoaster, and I know there's gonna be some dips ahead, but for now I feel really good.

How are things with you? When do you start your class?

Lately, things were better in that our interactions were very good.

Then on Wednesday she said she thought I had been angry at her for the past few days. I said I wasn't, and asked why she thought that, she didn't know. I think that she might be seeing my increased detachment that way. I certainly haven't felt angry, so I'm pretty sure my non-verbals weren't showing that.

Thursday she dropped some hints that the D was still on, I didn't take the bait, I STFU, and left it alone.

She has avoided me since Wed, and I just don't mind as much. I'm all about giving her space right now.

It should have been something that would have sent me into a spin, but it didn't. I feel really good about that.

I like having some of the old me back, better self esteem, and self respect.

I'm finally at the place where I'm going to be OK either way. It's still going to be a long road either way, but I've got a new pair of boots.

Friday I saw my Atty at the courthouse, and I told him that since the ball had been in her court for the settlement conference for about 5 weeks now, to leave it there, and not call her atty about anything unless they call first.

She had to go to out of state for a funeral this weekend, and my oldest woke up crying b/c che was gone on Sat. I let him call her, and I told her that since I didn't want to interrupt anything like the wake that she should call them Sat night if she wanted to talk to them. She didn't.


I still feel really bad about the kids, but that part is out of my hands.

[JMC]

I think of that song often as well, as it pertains to our sitchs.

Espcially enjoy the 22 minute jam on Live at the Fillmore

[kml]

Ah, that song brings back memories! I saw the Allman Brothers live at the Hollywood Bowl when I was a teenager. Johnny Winter came out and joined them for the encore!

Ellie

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Punk,

You get to be the Dad AND the Mom for your boys.

You're going to be an example for your boys, they're going to remember you and the way you faced this and how you comforted them.

Your wife's interactions with your boys, yes is out of your hands, but you'll protect them as best you can with those hands.

[Punktmann]

My attorney called today about our court dates. Our settlement conf is at the end of Feb, and the "trial" date is in April.

So we're still on track for the D.

At least 3 more months in the same house together.

I'm very glad that I didn't move out. I wish I hadn't moved out of our bedroom back then, but changing that back would be a lot of pressure on her.


It gave me some butterflies, I kind of expected that. Thankfully, I'm not a wreck like I have been every other time something like this has come up.

Some journaling,

She's been cycling between cordial and nasty again for the about the past week. There is a difference, the cycles are more like hour to hour whereas before they were more like day to day. I did like it when we were interacting better, that was a nice interlude.

She was alternating about every hour or so between not speaking to me, being upset, and being friendly last night, and this morning as well. She definately has some anger there.

This morning, the kids were messing around on the way out the door, and she snapped, and started screaming at them. I used to ask her to take it easy on them if I thought she was going overboard, but I left off doing that b/c she would say that I was accusing her of being a bad parent.

I think that if she does that again, I will say something to her about it. Fine if she wants to scream at me. I can listen or walk away, they can't.

[Punktmann]

Jack, doing good here man. Things are leveling out.

You're going to be an example for your boys, they're going to remember you and the way you faced this and how you comforted them.

I do a lot of thinking about this. They learn by example so much. I may have some new responsibilities coming in this area.

I hope that whether she stays or goes, she finds some peace so she can enjoy them more.



Truthfully, I am more than a little pissed that down the road some other man may have a hand in raising my boys.

Understanding her more has helped me dramatically with my anger, but not with that part.