Don't Push!!! A Newbies MUST Read.

[AliSuddenly]

Hi there,

Your sitch sounds similiar to mine...when you said

Six weeks ago, H told me (I pulled it out of him because he's been acting odd) that he doesn't love me like a husband should love a wife--that he did, but he doesn't anymore--whatever that means. He claims the love expressed in his letters were written partially to convince himself that he felt that way.

Anyway, our sex life has improved enormously since his revelation, which to me is a good sign (but to him doesn't translate into the kind of love he needs to feel.)

My BF also said this, that he did love me like a BF should, but he doesnt any more. Also, anniversary cards, he also said he meant what he wrote but also because he WANTED to feel like that and for it to be ok. Our sex life had also became more passionate, but he was carefull to remind me that it didnt mean anything, he was still leaving me. I guess men compartmentalise.

I couldnt get my BF to MC, so well done for that. If I had got my BF to go, my plan was to just listen, let the C try and get him to express whats going on. Personally I wouldnt want waste the session talking about practical issues, but underlying issues?

I guess you must take heart that your H is still there, you have an opportunity to try the techniques. No, I dont have the book...is it worth buying if your partner has already left? Thankyou for saying I am not alone, I was in a mess when my BF was still here, he had become like a stranger. So I'm not surprised you are finding it hard. In terms of the 180, has he given you any clues about what made him feel this way toward you, so you can switch it around?

..I am struggling with the notion that someone you've known and cared deeply about for 12 years (and my sitch sounds like you - we were friends first so always had a friendship and loving respect for one another in our R).. and they about you..how could they switch that care off, just wake up one morning and no longer love you ? After everything we'd been through.. Its incomprehensible.

Good luck with the session.
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Me: 36
H: 34
T: 9 years
ILYBINILWY: 2 Nov 07
Moved out: 15 Nov 07
NC: 1 Jan 08