The New Adventures of Supermom...Part 3

[JennyF]

I had a question for you, do you still wear your wedding ring? If not, when did you take it off?

blinsided,
No, I don't wear them. I took them off and threw them at H (well...onto the table at him) about 15 minutes after he dropped the bomb. I haven't put them back on since.
I LOVED my rings. They are very simple, not much to them...but from the day I got engaged I loved wearing them. I loved what they meant and I loved showing that off. I hate not wearing them, but I have to admit that not wearing them has made it easier to accept the current reality.
If I hadn't taken them off that night, I probably would have worn them for longer. But it never felt right to put them back on. I hope someday I will get that chance.

See, my perspective on it now is that it would definitely send a message to H if I was to be wearing them. Right now, in order for me to validate him, he needs to know that I am truly aware of how 'over' it is. If I were to wear them it would tell him that I still have hope and to me that would telling him that was he says isn't true. And for my H, he is sick of people telling him that he's wrong. So I don't want to give him any more reasons to jam it down my throat.

I also look at this way...part of what makes easy to accept the current circumstances is that fact that our marriage is truly over. If things work out between us we'll need to start over again...a NEW and better marriage. So it helps to think of the old marriage as gone and not wearing the rings helps with that. If I put them back on, it will because we're ready to start a NEW and BETTER life together.
So it's a little sappy...but it helps.

If you were to take your rings off, your H would notice and would send him a signal that you're starting to move on. This is one way of 'faking it till you make it'. Even though you still have hope, it might be a good thing to give him that impression.
A lot of other people might differ in their opinion as I know people on these boards are still wearing their rings.
Don't take it off if you don't want to. I know I didn't like being pregnant and not wearing them. But near the end I could have just passed that off as swollen fingers!

D is still sick today and home with me. Poor little thing. H was here last night for a while and e-mailed today to see how they're doing. Funny, he asked if S is still fussy (because he was fussy when he had him yesterday). H doesn't even realize that he's like that a lot...he's just never around to see it.

Anyway....that's all. I have to go try to fit in a shower now that they are both asleep!!
J~