Hey Frank, looks like you're getting lots of much needed support. My prayers are with you!
Wanted to ask if you saw a Dr. about your depression, or to get a medical opinion on the anxiety, etc? If not, are you planning to? I still think you have a medical issue to deal with and the self help route might not be the entire answer this time. Think about it.. you seem so confused and out of focus at times and that's not like you! Huggs.