i understand what you are saying, and i have been playing the cat, keeping somewhat of a distance, not being so attentive, or complimentary, not even touching her, only giving her a kiss hello and goodby, not hovering all over her, not cuddling her in bed, going to sleep earlier/later than her, keeping up the small talk as she does, not really being deep or romantic--acting like a roommate, a friend, a person to speak to.
my question is what to say when this week she gets her period and becomes all lovey-dovey, and wants to cuddle with me, and wants me to massage her, and wants to know why i haven't been so tentitive to her for some time? what is an appropriate response, because i have said them all to her in the past whenever i got like this, and that just showed that i had a hidden agenda, and then she goes into battle mode, and now i have a fight on my hands where i feel and look like the bad guy. what can be said that will show her how i feel without starting a war? she is going to ask, i can feel her feeling left out, that i am not being close to her as i always am.
i know that there's a switch,but i just don't know why it can't be touched? i also know that giving your husband a bj is just as good as anything else, and that it shows him that even though you are not in the mood, that you are still understanding and caring and giving to his needs, and that's all i am asking (a massage until climax would be just as nice in lue of a bj as well.)that use to happen and sometimes it would go further. now she has just shut the door on all of these little intimate moments.
i really don't like acting like i just don't care about her, or that i have no feelings for her, or that i just look away from her not allowing myself to grab and make-out with her, or tell her how beautiful and sexy and what a milf she is. this just isn't me. i also know that i have to start training myself not to be so submissive and attentive. that's what she means about me being like the other husbands: stop acting so loving, and romantic, and mushy--stop hanging all over her and let her come to me--like a few others have said on this blog.
it's just too hard right now, but i know that i have to train myself to be something i am not, and i have already started.
